The Time has Come
by Kusa23
Summary: I am not affiliated in any way with MC. I have always been a major fan of Tony Denison (and all his other names :) ) and GW Bailey. They brought me to the show. I've been running dry of late on case story lines, so went more on character development/history...Hope you enjoy, feel free to comment...
1. Chapter 1

Detective Tau and Buzz could be heard bickering in the tech room from all the way in the bull pen. Even with both the doors shut, Sharon had heard them going at it for a full ten minutes or more before finally deciding to step in herself.

"What in the world is going on here?" She insisted, finally stalling their rants with her mere presence in the room.

"He started it!" the two boys insisted in near unison. She just stared at both of them, waiting for her proper answer as patiently as she could.

"I've been handing Buzz some of the tech items to complete and file and he keeps handing them back to me."

"That's because I've been swamped with a/v editing, distributing and logging…I just don't have time for it…"

"Well, neither do I…it's supposed to be your area…"

"Then why are you doing it?"

The volleys flew faster and grew louder till it felt at last that the next cannon to explode would be Captain Raydor's eardrums!

"Wait a Minute!" She shouted when neither of the two would surrender on their own. It had been the very same issue with so many of the units she had been a part of over the years. The higher ups looking to the bottom line, minimal overtime and restricted staff increases, while expecting low crime stats, high conviction rates and infallible reports. Reports such as the ones Tau and Watson were just….discussing. There was an answer…but how would she get it past Asst. Chief Taylor? Besides that, where would she find someone who could put up with this riotous bunch, and still put forth the high quality work the division demanded?

Slowly, a name did come to mind….Jessica Walton….They had only come to know each other briefly during a conference or two over the past few years, but Sharon had found her to be a remarkable woman.

Jessica was appointed to various special teams on the force a number of years, but her central focus had been on the military for most of her career. Most recently, the reserve unit she was now a part of had been called up for the war in Afghanistan. It would be Jessica's third tour in this conflict. Sharon couldn't remember exactly what her duties were…She wasn't on the front lines exactly, but from stories Jackson Brandt, a mutual friend, had told her, the other woman had been plenty close enough. One mission had her originally scheduled for supply transport, but as the fighting got heavy just ten miles from the road she was traveling on during her return trip, her radio went strangely 'dead' and she suddenly found herself off course and just a few clicks away from a squad who had been pinned down by enemy fire. She grabbed her medical gear and whatever weapons and ammunition she could from what remained in the truck, and hustled out to them. Three of the team were wounded to varying degrees, with a fourth recognizably critical. She spread the ordnance among those still able to shoot and started treating the injured. After preforming what first aid she could and with some ingenious engineering that would have made MacGyver proud, she had them all ready to move in a matter of minutes. The two leg injuries and the others with less serious issues she was able to guide to the vehicle, but by the end she was left with two fairly healthy soldiers and the group's commander, who was slipping away more and more quickly. His second in command, one of those still remaining, continually barked orders at her, which she to this point had kept oblivious to, most of the time because she was already in the process of fulfilling his directive before he gave it anyway. There just wasn't time to give him a yes sir or tell him to shut up. She just did what was needed then went on to the next. But now he was ordering her and the last soldier to take the captain to the bus and drive off. She was far from a weakling, but after carrying jumping lifting and everything else that had gone on in the past hour, the adrenaline was starting to wear off and her super-strength was starting to wear thin….He just continued to shout. Finally, she smacked him in the back of the head with her medical bag.

"There, your sanity transfusion is complete. Now give me that gun and get YOUR ass over to the Captain. I'll cover YOU!" She then, slapped the keys in his hand. "If I don't make it…YOU drive…I'm dead anyway once we reach headquarters…."

"You can't fire a…." he stared….he had trained with women before, and though impressed with a few, he still never for a moment believed they could be his equal, never mind should be giving him orders…

"I was shooting these things before you came out of Junior Academy….Now MARCH!"

He pulled back for an instant, and that was all it took for Jess to yank the assault rifle from his hand and start aiming and firing herself. He watched her for a second. Though third in his class, he still had nothing on the speed and accuracy this soldier showed. He pulled together what ammunition there was left so she'd be able to grab it as quickly as possible. No matter who did the shooting, it was quite clear, they all had to move…The truck itself was coming under heavier and heavier fire and before long, the enemy would bring out the heavier artillery and there'd be a mortar shell on its way that could blow his entire squad to kingdom come!

"Well. What are you staring at?" He shouted to the other soldier. "Grab the Captain and let's get going!"

Jessica shook her head…well, mentally…she was a bit too busy for that in the real world. Within minutes, the sergeant and his comrade had run the captain into the truck and secured him. The senior officer then grabbed one of the firearms from the men and ran back for Jessica.

"Soldier! Time to move out." He shouted, but a foot from her ear.

Didn't need to tell her twice. Then again, he didn't need to tell her once…in fact what the frak did he think he was doing, coming back from the truck.

She gave him a short elbow to the gut, then spun away. With adrenaline now going into round two, she swung his arm around his waist, and dragged Him back to the truck.

Before he could call out a word of protest, she was in the driver's seat. Having grabbed the keys out of his pocket as she dropped him in the back she started the vehicle and got them all the Sam Hell out of there!

The worst results of that mission, from what Sharon gathered, were a broken leg, dislocated shoulder, and the Captain, who lost the use of his left arm. Everyone survived.

Once having the troop settled at headquarters, Jessica got a severe tongue lashing from her superior…and then….the medal of valor….

Three months later, 2 days from her scheduled return to the states….while on a routine transport mission on a morning when the fighting was light…Her truck hit an IED….

Jessica was now paralyzed from the waist down.

It could have been much worse. Everyone knew that…But being where she was needed, whether in a foreign war zone or handling whatever sort of violent or criminal situation stateside was all Jessica had ever been about. She always was ready to put herself in the middle of the action to protect another. On various occasions, her daring might often border on stupidity, even she admitted…but there was often a very fine line between the two….even Sharon couldn't argue that.

The very same squad she rescued broke forth like a stampede of horses to her bedside as soon as they could when they heard about her incident. They surrounded her like a flock of Fredrick Nightingales, offering her the same mother hen treatment she had given them in the days that followed their original meeting, only en masse. . Jackson had given Sharon every last detail of both events, save one. He had himself been the mouthy sergeant in question. He hadn't thought much of her when they first met. She was older than the lot of them, but age made no difference beyond perhaps an advantage when it came to Jessica keeping up and even surpassing the abilities of himself or his men on more than one occasion. He couldn't help but admire her for that.

And now….she was destined for a desk job….a thought that she far from relished…She could have retired and tried to live on disability, but she liked that concept even less. The thought of life behind the scenes instead of on them left her screaming on the inside. She found herself wanting to leap from her chair and dash out the door whenever she'd hear a breaking news story on the television. How was she going to react when she would be the only one in the room not able to do that very thing?

Sharon barely knew the woman, but from what she had come to know, she respected her enormously. Her knowledge of tactics and strategy, as well as technology and the legal system, would make her a perfect fit for the squad. The office and adjoining rooms were ADD compliant, so that was far from an issue.

She knew the presentation she would make to Taylor. Hiring a Vet, not to mention a decorated war hero would be great PR…the glaring spotlight from which she would of course keep Jessica herself out of as much as possible. She could convince him easy….Convincing the Lieutenant might be a wholly other matter….


	2. She's Back

The team came in Monday morning to find the desks rearranged, if only slightly, with a new one near the corner by the window, next to Tau and across from Buzz, who was now 2 rows back behind a scanner and Provenza's copier, which Lou was none too happy to see was now moved far away from him, as was his money jar. The thing that none could understand was how, if there was going to be a new team member, why did the desk have no chair?

Back in the interrogation room, Jessica was having second thoughts. Cmdr Taylor was doing such a verbal quickstep to sideline her concerns, Sharon couldn't help but be impressed. Apparently her credentials had astounded him considerably as well….

"Lieutenant…how long were your deployments overseas…." Sharon interrupted, knowing if this went on she'd never be able to make full and proper introductions to the team before the next case hit their desks.

"A year….maybe two….often extended but…" Jessica responded. Knowing she had seen her last mission unless things drastically changed in regard to her lower half.

"Well, why don't we consider this in a similar fashion….A year-long contract…and see how things work out. If it's no good for either side, we part ways and that's that…if it goes well, we finalize the paperwork and resolve it that way."

Jessica thought about it. She had heard a lot of good things about the Major Crimes taskforce…but she had concerns about joining them…about her own abilities….and about….him…..

Silence stood in the air for a long moment.

"Sounds like we have a deal," Taylor entered before any contradiction could be stated. "I'll have your paperwork rerouted to the consultant department. You do understand, though you're more than respected for your service to our country, your rank cannot be recognized as a consultant, Ms. Watson."

Jessica paused for a second, then, reticently, nodded.

"Then I'll be on my way. Captain Raydor, I'm sure you can handle the introductions…."

Sharon nodded. It had been her idea all along, but somehow she couldn't help seeing Jessica with sympathetic eyes. She seemed more a captured POW than a woman of rank about to embark on her next assignment.

"Team," she interrupted the general hum as everyone was lulling into their individual activities. Faces one by one turned up to meet her gaze, then looked at the woman following shortly behind her.

"I would like to introduce you to a new member of our team…."

Detective Sykes beamed outwardly with excitement, recognizing the person behind the Commander immediately. Beyond just the idea of having another woman on the team, she had followed as closely as possible on Lt. Watson's through the news and Social media. To now have her as part of the force, let alone her own squad member, was indeed an honor. Provenza looked at her with more suspicion, now staring face to face at the cause of his copier's displacement. But as the Captain continued with her backstory, he started recognizing himself how valuable this new asset would be, how much she had already been…._ok…I'll learn to live with it somehow_…he thought to himself.

Tau and Buzz looked at each other, stunned. There was always too much to do for either of them…all of them….but they never expected Sharon to actually step forward to add someone to the team for assistance. They'd now have to find new and different ways to harp on each other to blow off steam. Sanchez just looked and smiled politely. Unsure of what this new addition might mean for him, but glad to have a new member of the team nonetheless.

Andy, the last to look up, saw…and was dumbfounded. She….she was here….how in the world….

Before his question could be answered, a call came in to Provenza's line…and so the day began

Within minutes, Jessica was in an empty room. The Captain had shown her her desk, the equipment, the interrogation and tech rooms. She was so on edge when she first arrived, she slammed the arms of her chair into the desk. She could see both the Captain and Commander's growing speechless concern.

"Not an issue…" she consoled. Hitting a button on either side, the arms of the chair dropped to thigh height, allowing her to roll right in.

She'd have to brush up on some of the hardware and software they used, but none of it seemed out of her depth. The younger blonde who took the desk Sharon said was for their main tech guy, the one she'd likely be working the most with, seemed a bit overconfident for her taste, but they'd barely spoken three words together…She scolded herself about letting appearances be the basis of her judgment, considering. The older Asian man she was sure she'd get along fine with, as long as she had a set of headphones she could use as earplugs…Never mind three, in the few minutes they all had together, seemed she could barely get a single word in vertical with that one. Well, maybe when he got a lean on how many languages she knew, both computer and verbal, he wouldn't mind letting her toss a verb or two out now and then…

She tried to stop contemplating the team and focus on the facts of the job. Their efiles were a disaster and there were boxes and folders with various papers in them, seemingly everywhere. She'd also have to talk to Shar….Captain Raydor about the file cabinet, the one non-compliant article in the office from what she could find so far. If she was going to 'handle the home front' as, she believed it was Sanchez, put it….she'd need better access to the pots and pans. Provenza she recognized in an instant, simply from the way he seemed to snarl at her, at least at first, when they met…She'd have a good time taunting him on the machine he had apparently purchased…one she recognized immediately was infamous for its constant need of repair. She considered to herself how much she would charge him to do them….

Andy….Andy….no….there wasn't going to be any avoiding him…no matter how many user guides or document folders she tried to bury her brain in, he'd still be there when she came out. She was going to have to find a way to live with that.

Five hours later, Provenza Flynn and Sykes were back in the office. From the reports they gave the Captain, Tau was bringing some main evidence to the crime lab, Sanchez was notifying next of kin, and Buzz was still photographing the scene.

Settling to their appointed desks, the fluster began.

"Where are the D…"

"…Left corner, third bin from bottom" Jessica responded before the question was fully out. "yours too..." she continued, with barely a glance at the other detectives in the room.

Flynn looked at the left corner of his desk. A neatly assembled and labeled set of stackable trays stood where there was once a tousled bin of paper. The forms he had been looking for were right there as directed.

She had been to his desk….perhaps through it…what else had she seen….what did she know….

"Wow…not bad" Sykes smiled….her desk, though needing a bit of a touch up here and there, was the least in need of assistance…Jess knew in time they'd get along famously.

"Where are my…." Provenza started.

"Check your email." Jessica once again responded before all the words were out. Lou followed up and found an email with blue highlighted lines with words, colons, periods and a bunch of slash marks.

"What's all this?"

"Hit the links…"

Provenza looked to his partner. "She's not saying go golfing…." Flynn responded to his confusion, having already found the email regarding his own files. "Left click your cursor on the blue text."

"I knew that" Provenza defended. No one countered. He did as instructed and each line brought him to a new location with documents clearly and uniformly defined.

"Now listen miss….don't go thinking you can…."

"Lieutenant, before you say anything else, you may want to read Sharon's response." Sykes interrupted.

Provenza begrudgingly followed suit, and there was indeed an email from the Captain in response to the one that had been sent from this new impudent arrival.

"Very good work, Ms. Walton. Team, I want to see everyone using this new process going forward, so if anyone is absent or unavailable the rest of the team will more easily be able to pick up where the last person left off…thank you."

The Lieutenant gritted his teeth, letting out a low growl. Looking over for a moment, Flynn saw Jess dash her eyes away before allowing herself a small silent giggle.

Provenza proceeded to print the email on the printer. When he arrived at the machine, he found nothing there….he hit buttons…opened and closed drawers…and slammed it a few times in different directions….

"I suppose this will be your next project…."

It took every bit of military discipline in her….for Jessica to keep her mouth shut.


	3. Her First Case

A little over a week had passed, Jessica was more than getting her bearings. Things were running smoothly with the team. She would converse with Tau quietly in Mandarin, which would make Buzz crazy, but then share a tech joke she had found on the net with Buzz, which would drive Tau crazy. She decided on a $10. per issue fee for fixing the printer, which in time more than covered the 'cost' of usage for the whole department. When he was available, Sanchez became a more than amiable lunch companion, who was always hungry to hear about different events in her life in the military, without being too grotesquely enthralled by the violence she was surrounded by or focused on the muddled politics that surrounded her various missions. Sykes she had also found to be a sharp but subtle young tack. Days passed and, even as early as she would come in, she always found a cup of coffee waiting for her on her desk. She couldn't tell who had made it for her, but she was determined to give them a piece of her mind….she might be disabled…but she was NOT unable….then one day, she found Amy 'accidentally' drinking from her own coffee cup…The inferno that flamed in her was somehow immediately extinguished. She couldn't help but laugh.

"So…I'm guessing your days of getting coffee For the secretary are done?" she asked, a note of disappointment in her voice.

Sykes shook her head….She drew forward a second, slightly larger cup from beside her, itself steaming from the liquid inside. On the side of the cup, a cartoon bird, its legs spinning like race wheels…and a tremendous announcement filled the bubble that overlaid the dust cloud surrounding the creature.

**_Beep-beep!_**

Sykes said nothing, and placed the cup right on her desk. Jessica just wanted to die laughing. Though she considered it unlikely, a part of her was curious….had Flynn spoken anything to her…about their past…..

Sharon, who had been her staunchest supporter from the beginning, was finally starting to relax about the chair and her other 'needs', and was becoming more and more able to just treat her like the rest of the team, without having to be cognizant of it. Taylor…well, he irked her…sometimes by his mere presence…but it seemed to be a common thread in the department. She knew his main concern in keeping her happy there was so that she wouldn't go telling tales to the press…or worse…She considered using that concept to her, or perhaps the team's, advantage at a later date…but for now…was best just to keep him at arm's length as much as possible.

She and Flynn had managed to avoid each other. From what she could read, the desire seemed mutual and she was more than happy to go with that. The time they had spent together….finding out he was…..no…she wasn't going to go back down that road….

If she just could hold on to the status quo….it might all work out after all.

The file cabinet was still on order, held up by bureaucratic red tape no doubt. She contemplated going to Taylor on that, but why waste ammo on such a simple skirmish. Most all the files were electronic now anyway…Buzz and Tau were more than happy to reach for the high stuff….it was more like she was just short, rather than legless.

Tuesday afternoon, after they had just closed the Markel case only to have Christoff spring up, seemingly in the same hour, she was going through her usual routine; creating folders and dropping files for completion for the detectives, scanning the hard copy documents that had already come in, e-filing and creating hard folders for them, emailing the links to everything and advising the members of her team when she had completed editing their often mangled reports so they would be able to review and finish processing.

The last Markel folder sat in front of her, waiting for one of the other members to come back from the field and put it away. They had all been gone most of the day, and she had just sent out the notifications for them to meet at an address across town for yet another case. It was more than likely none of them would be back till at least 5, and all the while she would have the most brutal reports and photographs of the abuse and murder of a three year old girl sitting out on her desk….a stack of paper among all the others….She had seen so much death, people of so many ages, she was surprised this case affected her so, but she couldn't deny it…Nor could she deny how disrespectful it seemed to have the package, the final pain-filled chapters of the young girl's story, just lying there.

This is ridiculous, Jess thought to herself. The cabinet was right behind her…the file went in the second to top shelf…For all the physical therapy she'd been through, the fact was her legs were useless. But if she used her arms to pull herself on to the shorter cabinet beside it, she could open the drawer, slide in the poor child's file, and put herself back in the chair before anyone was the wiser.

She looked up. Sharon's fourth cup of coffee kicked in, and she was on her way to the restroom, then she had a three o'clock with Taylor which she'd probably head straight to. She was on her own…all systems go!

She grabbed the file and rolled her chair back, angling it next to the lower cabinet. First placing the file on top of the high cabinet, an area she could just reach, she started to look around her. Turning her chair just a bit more, she locked the wheels, removed the files and other paraphernalia from her first destination onto the outstretched left corner of her desk, and with the agility of a former gymnast, lifted herself on to the primary plateau.

She sat a moment for a breather….that was a bit tough, but the really hard part was still ahead.

She reached up for the folder, which was now more than a bit closer, and adjusted it so that the lower half held itself just off the front of the structure. She pulled open the drawer, using it and the main bin to agonizingly slowly drag herself up to the proper height where she could finally see the tops of the files. Cursing the fact she didn't have pull enough with her own limbs to draw her calves in for a few inches lift, not to mention added balance, she leaned hard on the metal box, holding as close as she could with one hand to the far rear corner, which had blessedly not been pressed flush with the wall as it should have been. As stable as she thought she'd ever be, she reached up with her free hand, opened a space in the drawer, grabbed the folder, and slid it in. Mission accomplished

She was just about to slowly remove her fingers from the back of the cabinet, and in one smooth conceptualized move, close the drawer and slide back in her chair, when she suddenly realized her sleeve had caught itself on the near corner of the drawer, just above her elbow. She wiggled around as best she could, but nothing could get it loose. Something akin to instinct lead her to try to use her other hand to free it.

Crack…slash…SLAM!

When she woke up…she was in the hospital…Andy looking down on her, looking over every detail of her face….unease appearing to empower his vision till it seemed he could sense her every ache.

"What happened…." She muttered, her skull feeling it had been bashed with a ten pound mallet.

"That's what we wanted to know." Andy responded. "We found you on the floor with your sleeve ripped unconscious. What were you trying to do?" he pressed.

Well…she thought to herself wryly….at least I managed to get the drawer closed…

"I must have had a dizzy spell or something, and fell out of my chair…" she responded, not wanting to let any of them know the not so heroic truth of it.

"And managed to get your blood on the file cabinet drawer where the file you told me you were going to leave for me to put away was mysteriously found…." She couldn't quite focus enough yet, but by the sound of it, Buzz was in the room too….maybe her mission wasn't quite the covert success she had hoped. "I may not be a detective per se….but it doesn't take the FBI to figure this one out…" he quipped.

"Seriously…are you kidding me…." Andy toned back in again…"You risked your safety for paperwork?"

"Samantha isn't just paperwork! She was a…." Yup…mission was blown….covert no longer…

As her eyes slowly cleared, she could see Flynn and Buzz were the only ones in the room, thank heaven. They just looked at each other, then back at her.

"Please, don't…." she pleaded.

"Don't tell anyone your human….that you hate seeing these things come and go as much as the rest of us…"

Jessica, having enough trouble formulating words through the hurricane in her head, was dumbstruck.

"Jess, there are days I see these things….even pictures days later of what I've viewed in person…and I have trouble keeping my lunch down…no matter what anyone says, you may learn to live with it, but you never get used to it."

Could it be….she thought to herself….the brash young buck she had met all these years ago…had developed a conscience….maybe even a heart….

"Nonetheless, you can't go risking your life to do something that won't change anything…." He insisted. "Putting her file away would get it out of your sight, but it wouldn't bring her back…and neither does cracking your skull open…"

She reached up….there did seem to be a small bandage on her head…stitches more than likely….but nothing more.

"Ok, not literally…your head's too hard for that, God knows!"

Buzz eyes jumped from silent interrogation of Jessica, to searching for enlightenment from Andy…there was definitely something here he didn't know.

"Ok, so maybe it wasn't the brightest thing I've ever done…" she relented.

"Not the brightest….really…"

She refused to go beyond that.

"Just promise you're not going to try any more acrobatics going forward…at least without an audience…"

"…you mean a net….don't you…"

"BOTH…" he pressed, disallowing any form of no for an answer.

"FINE!" she responded in kind, finally coming back to near full strength. She swore she could spy a smile on his face. Was he actually happy to have her screaming at him…again?

"What in the world is going on in here?" Sharon pressed once more, entering the post-operative chamber, Provenza and Sykes in tow.

"She's awake." Flynn answered, matter of factly.

"So I hear…..Lieutenant, what in the world happened…."

"I don't think I should say anything officially….it could become an HR issue…."

Raydor looked to Flynn, confused.

"Workman's comp…." he answered with a smile.

"Workers'….." Jess corrected with a slight, but not so vicious, growl.

Sharon's eyes shifted from Flynn to Walton and back…..then back to Buzz, who just shrugged his shoulders….

"Will someone please tell me what in the hell is going on?"


	4. Andy's story

Conferences had to be the most boring things on earth for anyone but perhaps those sponsoring them to attend. The best parts, Andy always found, were in places dimly lit with a lot of talking…and it wasn't the lecture halls.

As it happened one evening, he found himself involved in yet another ridiculous set of drinking games with colleagues even more inebriated than he was. He could hear her voice as though it were floating over the constant uproarious din, then smacking him dead in the face.

"Look at that group….can't hold their liquor worth a damn…."

Considerably intoxicated, yet still insulted, he formidably made his way over to her.

"Madam…Might I interest you in a game of….." his voice trailed.

"Look, he's so drunk, he can't even remember what ridiculous game he was playing…." Her whole company responded in tumultuous frenzy.

"Go on Jess…beat him at his own game…" one encouraged

"You're certainly up for the challenge" came another.

"More than man enough for him…" at this they all lost it again.

Jessica stood up, just an inch short of Flynn's own height, and took a steady step toward him….

"Okay…let's play…."

What was left of Andy's puttied brain was swirling….He couldn't identify why, but he was enthralled by this woman….It was as though they had met in another life. She wasn't strikingly gorgeous, extremely slim or exceedingly voluptuous…she was just….lovely….graceful…and, as he was about to find out, extremely strong in mind, body….and will.

As though snapping out of a dream, he wound up following her back to the table with his 'friends' for the night. They were all toasted….Jessica had had a few, but was holding her own without issue. Round after round after round, her aim, acumen and attention were unmatched. The only time she found herself 'needing' to drink was on the few occasions when she lost the round. Almost all of those rounds, the people surrounding her, which over time grew to be nearly half the bar, could tell were being thrown by her.

"Hey, I'm thirsty!" she argued back to the accusation when one of the audience chose to speak her mind.

By the end of the night, Jess was more than tipsy, but Andy was fully loaded. Walton couldn't help but laugh. Plastered as he was, she could still spy a certain charm about him. This charm however, was not even close to matching his unstoppable arrogance, which part of her strangely found almost as adorable. Inhibition was not in his wheelhouse….especially now….He did as he pleased and said what he thought, though she often wondered if he was even thinking…As they walked through the streets together, his level of alcohol had him attempting dexterities Errol Flynn would have run shy of. The resulting tumbles should likely have landed him in the hospital, but somehow, he made it to her hotel room.

He would awake the next morning with a hangover that could have downed an elephant. Jess ordered room service. With a sly smile, quite sure he would recall near nothing of the previous night, she slipped into the bathroom and out of her night clothes, stepping forward in nothing but a bathrobe and towel, her hair still slightly damp from the shower she had taken an hour earlier…

"Did you sleep well, darling…" she purred softly, sliding into bed next to him.

He nodded slowly…then froze. His eyes blinked open….He looked around….He knew the city he was in, and why he was there…but this was Not his hotel room!

Jess cooed and moaned lightly, curling ever closer into his arms. "Last night was wonderful wasn't it…."

"Most…memorable night I've had in a while…" he lied, not able to recall a single minute after he had walked into the bar.

"Hmmm….you were amazing…" she hummed. "Especially with that incredible thing you did with your legs…so hot…"

Andy tried slowly to stretched his right thigh out…it nearly seized….He couldn't remember what it was he must have done….but however amazing, right now, he wished he hadn't.

Jessica nearly suffocated herself, stifling a laugh when she felt his leg motion and the subsequent wincing. His 'amazing' feat was a botched attempt at leapfrogging a three and a half foot tall ground mounted streetlight. He had not only slammed and near seared his inner thighs in the process…had the item been a few inches taller, he might have rendered himself unable to have children during the performance. It was that final act that convinced her there was no place safe she could leave him, save her own bed….Even if he had imbibed slightly less alcohol, or hadn't passed out mere minutes after she pulled his shoes off and placed the covers over him, she knew she'd have no trouble with this one through the night. There she could keep him safe from harm, even if the most hazardous enemy was his own, muddled, brain.

She kept up the charade through breakfast, even contemplated joining him in the shower….no intention of acting on anything, nor allowing him to…but curious what might lay further under the designer clothing and…and Wylie Coyote Boxers….?

On his third cup of coffee, when clarity started showing slowly through the clouded eyes of the detective, she decided to come clean….

"Andy…darling…"

"Yes, sweetheart…."

"You do realize….nothing happened last night…"

Andy's mug stood sentinel in front of his face. He stood staring a while at the quickly cooling brew… .Again he began trying to process what had happened the previous night…again, he was at a near total loss…

Jess could do nothing to hide her emotion this time, nearly falling off the chair in tears of laughter. Flynn couldn't help but join her a bit himself. She had gotten him good!

"So all of this…."

"There wasn't any of this to be this…." She continued to titter. "You were a damn fool last night, if I do say so…and trust me, I do….but I just couldn't bear to leave you to your own devices…."

"So…" he nearly repeated himself, but feeling the refrain would be the same, held short. "Weren't you concerned that…"

"You were in no condition to…attempt, never mind enforce, any enticement….I was quite safe…not that there would have been any issue to start with…"

Flynn became mildly affronted by this.

"Please, I could overpower you with my ring finger…it's not my strongest…so it could be slightly painful for me…but rest assured…you'd be in near the condition you are right now…."

The mildness quickly dissipated. Flynn began a loud protest how no woman could ever…

"Prove it…." She dared. "I'll give you 2 days to recover…Sunday is the last day of the seminar." She passed him a brochure regarding MMA/hand to hand combat demonstration sessions, the reason she herself was attending the Conference. "Come to this class…I'll make Sure you are selected….then we can truly see what you're made of."

The days that followed, she still found him at the bar, drinking, if not quite as much….She kept her distance, afraid one of them would explode in public if any sort conversation was to start between them. The night before his final test, Jess found a drink in front of her she had not ordered.

"From the gentleman" the bartender responded to her unspoken inquiry…A Jack-and-Coke…

No doubt, one of his comrades had filled him in on this little detail.

Next morning, she and her crew went through the same explanations, the same demonstrations, and the same cocky cops who thought they knew everything found themselves quickly on the mat beneath prepped instructors, sometimes half their size.

By noon she saw Flynn, about six rows back…his sleek black hair with its unmistakable styling made him easy to spot.

Hands were raised and participants were chosen for the last session. As promised, he was selected… upon her insistence to the speaker…near dead last.

The scenarios were called out. The participants would make their move on how they would normally handle the situation and, with varying levels of difficulty, be brought to submission by the spandex clad assailants. Then the presenter would advise and correct the response of each, offering methods of improvement on how the officer could subdue and thereby apprehend their chosen suspect. In the second round, the participants fared much better.

During Flynn and Walton's second take, he managed to get her hands locked behind her back.

"See, I told you I could take you down…" He sneered quietly, only audible to her and the pair next to them.

It wasn't part of the original process….and in no way what she was being paid to do, but she wasn't going to let this smart ass get the best of her because of some damn script. Digging her nail into the cuticle of his index finger, she could feel his grip on her slide away just enough for her to pull her arm free. She spun, punched, kicked, chopped…some he did manage to respond quickly enough to, and even counter with his own shots…but still others hit their target square on, including numerous jabs to his ribcage and neck….with her ring finger.

By the end, she held him in the same submissive position he had her in just moments before. Winded, she finally looked beyond her opponent to the stunned crowd that surrounded them, including the presenter, who stood staring at her….speechless.

Not missing a beat, she addressed the crowd. "Just remember….there will always be that one person out there….of either gender…who may even seem to be in some way weaker, smaller, or less skilled than you. Never assume you automatically have the upper hand for any reason." She gave a less than gentle tug to Flynn's wrists, causing him to wince yet again. "…because you may well lose that…and more…faster than you'll ever believe."

After a long pause, the speaker regained control of his vocal cords. "Thank you….and have a safe trip home."

Applause detonated throughout the auditorium. The audience slowly filed out through the rear of the assembly. They were a quarter gone before Jess realized she was still holding tight to her lock on Flynn.

"You know, you can let go now…" he yelped, sore now from both their scrimmage moments ago and their adventures a few days previous.

She released near instantaneously. A petit apology would probably calm him down…what she would do about Simon, the lecturer, was another matter.

"You know…" he imparted, rubbing his wrists a bit. "I wouldn't mind a rematch…."

This guy really didn't know when to quit, did he?

"Say…over dinner….tonight…."

Her eyes blinked up, finally looking at him instead of simply looking to avoid Simon's gaze. Was he serious….

"I'll pick you up at your hotel room…say….seven?"

Well, it's not like he didn't know where she was staying, though she was partly surprised he could remember, even in the more lucid state he was in while leaving.

"So….is that a yes…after all this, the last thing I'm going to try doing is forcing you…." He teased.

"Uhh…yeah sure…." Now it was Jess who didn't know what hit her….The same man she had just unceremoniously humiliated and beaten the crap out of…was now asking her out?

"See you then…" he smiled and, still rubbing his wrists, picked up his suit jacket and headed for the door.

Her sight was cloudy, as though a full bottle of Jack had just been poured over her head. But a singular voice pierced through the cloud she stood motionless in.

"WATSON!" Simon shouted. "GET OVER HERE!"

That night, she still wasn't sure what to do with herself, or the man who was coming to take her out. Was this a friendly apology dinner, a formal date…Should she dress to the nines…in uniform…jeans…

She stepped out of the shower and into the main room, looked at the door, then at herself. Then it dawned on her. She would greet him that night the way she had their first morning together…in a bathrobe…then, when she got a bead on what he was wearing, and where they were going from the conversation, she would choose as appropriate from her preselected wardrobe, slide into the bathroom to get changed, and be ready for whatever followed.

A knock came at the door. She answered and he, after a moment of stunned awe followed by mild laughter at her present state of dress, stepped through the threshold. She closed it after him.

"Well, it's not like you haven't seen me like this yet." She taunted with a smile.

After a few minutes of idle conversation mixed with imperceptible interrogation, she got a bead on where she felt he was aiming for this evening to go…likely right back to her room if she had read him right. She had no intention of allowing that, but she had no intention of letting him know that either.

She chose her slinkiest dress, with just enough coverage to cause perhaps a few raised eyebrows but not any ripples if they ran into one of her fellow military or para-military crew. Deftly sliding on her make up as expertly as she would camouflage paint, she took the gentleman's arm and the two walked off into the night.

Considerably more sober, though not completely, Flynn was every bit the charmer she had seen the first evening, if through an alcoholic mist…The conversation varied from light and polite, to intense debate, to an intelligent exchange of information between to professional, to inane absurd and nearly mindless ridiculousness that set them both into a jovial, relaxed, and slowly more intimate mood….

Maybe winding up back in her room wouldn't be so bad…

The conversation grew quieter…the couple drew closer…hands entwined. She felt heady….she wasn't sure if it was the last bottle, a strong Port wine, they had been sharing over the past hour…or if it was his cologne….or if it was simply him…..she had had enough of this night on the town. She had to get to bed…she had to get Him…..to bed…..

"Andy! My man! How the hell are you?" A voice shouted across the formerly sublime terraced tavern.

"Rob…" Flynn turned around to one of his numerous companions over the past days. "What's up?"

Rob came closer, nearly knocking every chair over that was in his path. Finally locking hands with the other man, his beer goggles became more focused and he started to recognize who else was in their company.

"This can't be…" he gasped, nearly drooling over the both of them. Flynn smiled and nodded, trying to figure out a way to be rid of this clown and return the previous wonder of the evening. Rob was having none of it. Stepping flush between the couple and fumbling for Jess's hand in a pathetic attempt at gallantry. "My LAY-de!" He emphasized nauseatingly. "Methoughts vous would be long ridst of this fool…Most certain after your hastied dispatch of him this morrow."

Jess wasn't sure if she wanted to laugh in his face or bash him across the skull. The couple just stood there as he dribbled on over this and that….

Till he came to a few words Jess secretly hoped would never be spoken.

"….as vous mustard know…Flynn's Fiancé….."

That was all she needed to hear….more in fact…..She couldn't even look at him. She reached for her purse where it lay on the small plateau next to them, and with a simple and direct "Good night gentlemen" and nothing more, turn and walked straight for the door.

Flynn tried to follow after, but Rob just wouldn't let him leave…

Jess silently screamed at herself the entire way home. Why had she given him her card at the session? He knew where her hotel was…that's all he needed…yeah he had given her his….so what….damn polite manner and conventionality….Why hadn't she just been downright rude to this snake! The he wouldn't have all her contact information and she could have just not been home when he came to pick her up….

And she wouldn't have had such an incredible evening….and weekend…..she would try years to forget…..


	5. Reunion

"He's what?" Jess clocked out, no hiding the surprise in her voice.

"Divorced….for a number of years from what I understand….His daughter just got married…that was a bit of a to-do from what the 'grapevine' tells me…."

Sykes' "grapevine" with quotes motion generally meant the team….Provenza more than likely in this regard. He seemed to know every detail on Andy. Details she, with all her data accessibility and sources had missed….She had gotten plenty of information over the years on his career; headline arrests, promotions, even the lost cases and issues….It didn't surprise her one bit when he was officially 'encouraged' to undergo treatment for his alcoholism, in fact, she was quite relieved when she heard he finally had. She stopped inquiring into anything regarding his personal life once she was told of the wedding, thinking that closed the book on anything between them after that….Divorce, somehow, for all his tenacity…she just didn't think that was in his vocabulary….Maybe it was in his wife's….

She pondered this new data, as though it was a key piece to a long standing puzzle. What would it mean to their relationship….What might it have meant, she near chastised herself. He had been far from judgmental or condescending since the day she arrived….but that she presumed was regarding her as a mere colleague. They had had to bear one another's presence in the same room or event numerous times throughout the year, but always kept what distance they could. When they couldn't, professional conduct was the rule of the day. There were a few occasions where his smart mouth nearly won him another front line rump whoopin….but she managed to contain her contempt till the session was complete and he was once again out of her sights.

Now he was well in her sights….but just as far out of reach. All the nights she fantasized how that night could have ended differently….sometimes a simpler, happier ending….sometimes greater glories at the increased cost of belated reality….

Sykes' words happily droned into a melodious hum as Jess came to terms with her wavering reality. The window she once for a short time had been opened, was now shut tightly against time. The time she might have had to changed that, had been sealed off to her now….by fate.

She had heard a few more of Amy's words as she was tossed along in her own thoughts….syllables regarding a potential romance between Andy and Sharon. She thought she had seen dashes of this possibility herself in the office. As close as this team was, she thought it unusual for a supervisor to be so familiar with her subordinate, especially when that subordinate had such chauvinistic tendencies as she had known Flynn to have over the years….Well, as hard as the missed…..no…never-existent possibility was to deal with….at least she had dodged the bullet of being a potential third party in what should be a two person romance.

She would be released from the hospital the next day. Sharon would no doubt insist she stay home a day or two to recover….By the time she got back to the squad room, her week away would leave plenty of clean up duty to attend to. Lou could never keep his file names or locations straight and Sanchez' paperwork, though diligently done, was always all over the place when he'd have to run out. She would undoubtedly have plenty to keep her hands and head involved with….hopefully it would be enough to keep them away from Flynn.

The following Monday, she was in the office bright and early. She insisted the Commander not tell anyone she was returning that day, so she would finally get the drop on Sykes and get HER coffee that morning.

As predicted, the electronic and hard copy files were as much of a mess as she had expected. The team, to their credit, did try to use the system she had plotted out on her arrival, but there were mishaps galore. Sanchez, in his usual rush had tried to copy one set of folders for an old case to build one up for another, only to have the files from the first mashed in with the ones he was trying to download for the second. The ADA, who was getting a migraine from the cacophony of information, had reached out to her for assistance during her absence….Thankfully that had only been the previous Thursday evening, and the trial didn't start till the following Wednesday afternoon, so there was still time to straighten everything out. After she had figured out how to fix what had been mangled, she determined she would dummy up a set of files and blank forms as a startup for any future new case that came up in case of any chance of her being out in the future …and make a second separate folder of them to download onto Julio's system directly, in case he accidentally cut instead of copy and paste the one she'd create for the whole team, leaving them all high and dry. Maybe she'd do the same with the physical folders too, she thought, looking at the stack of miscellaneous papers that poured forth from atop her inbox.

She was amazed at the spelling and grammar on these reports as well. They were done in a word processing program, but the squiggles below, nearly under every word in some cases, seemed to mean nothing to them…no wonder the state attorneys were always on their cases to tidy up their reports. Some of her favorites came from Provenza, again, the computer expert extraordinaire. In one email she was copied on, he apologized to the ADA for the delay of his report after an especially busy week. When she read the line 'sorry for the incontinence', she nearly peed herself laughing! She thought of leaving a box of adult diapers on his desk, but realizing the rest of the team might get the wrong idea, she decided instead to leave some of the pee pads she had left over from when she had first come home after the…accident…in his desk drawer, with a copy of the email on top.

At least that was an auto spell check issue…when that didn't kick in, it was just painful. Not sure why, he constantly misspelled the simplest words there were…like vehical, liberry, convienence and worse….

"Ve-hicle…Lou…Ve-hicle!" she exclaimed once, to a once again empty office, after seeing it for the 477th time.

It had been about three months since Jess' initial arrival. It wasn't quite common knowledge, but it was more than obvious there were some strained, uncomfortable issues in whatever had been shared in Walton and Flynn's past. Sykes knew more than the rest of the team, having slowly and gently dragged it out Jessica, sometimes managing to slide it out of her before she knew what she was confessing. She wasn't sure there was a chance of anything real going on in the couple's future, but she was determined to end the stalemate by whatever means necessary.

She'd start with the simple. When Andy came in early, she'd 'accidentally' spill her own coffee. When he stepped over to help her clean it up, she'd ask him to bring Jess's to her instead…It would be a 30 second interaction….maybe silent…but it was something. When she saw Jess was finishing up a paper copy of whatever report for Flynn, she made sure to disappear to the bathroom or other errand before she could hand it off to her in a secret request to deliver it for her. She knew Walton would never hand it off to any of the others for delivery, it would be too obvious…so she'd have to do it herself.

She came up with a number of these little tricks, each one more and more persuasively encouraging the two to spend any level of time together. Slowly, both of them began to catch on to her game.

"She's at it again, isn't she…." Flynn asked Jess as she rolled over with the background information she had compiled on his latest case.

"Didn't even bother to ask her this time. Not like I didn't know what the answer would be…."

Both offered a light smile and a surrendering huff, then returned as business as usual….

Ok, so they know, Sykes thought to herself, but it was still working, perhaps now better than before. Now they showed no qualms about approaching each other, at least professionally. She wasn't going to stop there….there had to be something more. Some way she could get the two of them together, socially…

The Policemen's Gala….less than a month away…It would be a challenge. She had a feeling Flynn would be more likely to ask to escort the Captain…It was a tenuous move…she might not approve of furthering this relationship….but perhaps it was time to bring Sharon in on what was going on….

Stepping forward, as though she were simply going to enquire on next steps on a case, she lightly tapped on the doorway to Raydor's office, just as Sharon was getting off the phone.

"Come in Amy…."

Amy firmly but quietly closed the door. There were too many other ears that might hear what was going on. This was Sharon's first clue that what she was about to be asked was not regarding a police matter.

"This is something about Jessica, I take it." She knowingly replied. Her subordinate had been somewhat stealthy, but was not able to avoid the chief's hawk like eye. Sharon too had more than a slight understanding of the shared past between the two now colleagues, having already known a great deal about Flynn's past and studying up more fully on Jessica's before making the official motions to have her join the team. Fraternization was frowned upon in the department, but regulations aside, a renewed relationship, whatever path it might take, could be good for the both of them.

Sykes was at first stunned. She wasn't that surprised she had been found out by an outside party, but she had planned out everything she was going to say in detail….She tried to fast forward her mind to where the conversation would have gone at the point it now was. She was still unsure of what the Captain would think of her operation. Obviously she knew something was up…but would she be willing to help.

"Captain, I'm sure you know about the….history…between Flynn and Walton." She started matter of factly.

"Yes indeed….do you think there's an issue there…."

"Not exactly…They haven't been…disagreeable. But there has been an…I don't know how to put it…"

"An unusual vibe in the air…." Raydor answered.

"Exactly…now, we both know Flynn if not both of them will fight any sort of classes or therapy sessions we might encourage them to go to…" Sharon simply nodded. "So I was thinking we go a bit more….organic."

Sharon had to admit, Sykes' window dressing of her plan was more than a little amusing. But with all the more pressing activity in the office, she had to cut it down to brass tacks. "You want to set them up on a date…"

Sykes did little to hold back her discomfort. The plain spoken response allowed her little insight to whether further explanation would be supported, or send her up a creek with her superior. "Uhh….yes…in a matter of speaking…The policemen's gala….It's a professional function…to give them cover…but it's more of a laid back setting….There are limited tickets available. Provenza just won't go….Tau and Sanchez aren't generally up for it. Buzz is a civilian and likely not to be invited…and I can manage to have other plans."

"Which leaves me and Flynn."

"And Jessica." She continued. "You could convince Commander Taylor to have her invited as a former war hero now a part of the force…even if presently in a consulting capacity…"

Sykes had to watch her step even more carefully now….for the other hot button issue….How to skate around the water cooler rumor of the Captain and the Lieutenant having their own romance. She couldn't put her finger on it, but somehow, for all she had herself seen, she just couldn't see any truth to it.

"If you…already had a da…escort…for the event…" she corrected,"Andy would have to find his own….Jessica would also be on the hunt for someone to go with. It would only make sense that they wind up with each other."

"Sounds plausible enough…." Captain Raydor admitted. She liked Andy a lot, and more than enjoyed his company, but that was the sum total of their personal relationship. He really did need someone in his life, to balance him. Jessica had proven herself in spades to be more than his equal. Whatever their history, it was more than time they got past it and moved on, to whatever the future held for either of them.

Sykes sat silently, feeling she had probably said more than enough, if not too much.

"Detective….You have officially got yourself a co-conspirator…." She smiled, a slight bit of slyness peering through her smile. "I have a few old friends I'm sure will be able to make the time for a night 'on the town'…" They both stifled a laugh as best they could….the gala was known for a lot of things….but it was more stuffed shirts pontificating on the wonderful things they had done for the community, than the rank and file truly being celebrated for and celebrating the hard work they had done.

"Thank you, mam…" Sykes finished on an official note, as if they had just discussed important business…She hadn't the strength to pull the smile off her face till she reached the door, knowing if it went any further, she'd have been made and the plot would never come to fruition.

A little over a week passed since the plot was initiated. When Andy and Sharon 'discussed' the upcoming festivities, she nipped any plans of them attending together by telling him Rusty had agreed to take her arm that night. He teased her about bringing a 'much younger man' to the party….but she would have none of it, insisting it would be a good experience for him. Besides they'd have a good laugh about it afterward.

Andy was sunk. His circle of lady-friends were far from interested in attending such a suffocating affair…especially as many of them were former alcoholics themselves. It was more business for him, and as long as it wasn't too obvious his rum and coke was actually straight coke, no one who didn't already know was the wiser, and those who did would rarely if ever say a word about it. Still, he had to find someone to go with.

Out of nowhere, he heard Jessica typing away at her keyboard harder than usual, till she finally slammed both her hands to either side of it.

"What was that, Jess." He called from across the near empty room. Sanchez looked up from his desk, but when he saw that nothing was broken or out of Walton's reach, he went diligently back to his work.

"Taylor's insisting I attend this ridiculous party…" She responded, pointing to the email on her screen. "Dammit! I hate these things…."

"I know the feeling….Provenza and I are supposed to alternate, representing the division…somehow…he always manages to come up with the flu or some such…so I just straight took over…less last minute bull that way."

Jess smiled and shook her head. "Sounds like him…" she muttered quietly. Andy anything but argued.

It didn't take long for Andy to come up with a Brilliant plan…the question was, how to ask and survive the rejection without a Defcon 4 response that would leave him the laughing stock of the entire building for days.

"You know we could…."

"Go together…" the thought more than crossed her mind…In the past, she wouldn't have thought twice about making the suggestion herself…but that was a time long gone by…besides….it was Flynn…

"Exactly….I mean, nothing…in particular…in meaning…just…keep each other…company…try and stave off the boredom and all…." He stammered. For heaven sake, the only time he had this much trouble explaining himself was when he was in front of the captain, caught up in another one of Lou's schemes that had gone awry. Why was he having so much trouble doing it now?

Jess took a deep breath….here goes nothing….

"Works for me, I guess…if it…."

"Perfect…" Flynn responded, a beat too early for tranquility. "When…should I pick you up…or would you rather…"

"Shall we say seven…" she volleyed, also slightly off rhythm. She reached for a post-it and wrote down her address. Realizing, and slightly reticent about her lightning speed, she began to slow down as she pulled it off. Closing her eyes for a moment and taking an equally deep, if slightly quieter, breath, she handed it to him.

Flynn took it from her hand, carefully reading it. He knew the neighborhood well, if not the building. He would be able to find it with no trouble.

Now, how to close the conversation…if this was how things were going to go at the gala, the night was going to be an utter disaster…but how to break the long cold distance between them….

"You know, after so many years…ahh…it might be good if we…I don't know…met…you know…off book….coffee or something….come up with a game plan…"

Game plan….what on earth was he talking about…he was picking her up…they'd go to the party…spend a couple hours miserable…he'd drive her home…end of game plan…what else was there….

She looked up at him. She'd avoided looking at him for any longer than necessary…no longer than necessary to communicate whatever was needed between the two of them for the sake of the city. Looking at him now, it was just as she feared. The dusting of snow that now lit his once jet black hair did nothing to diminish the charismatic magnetism that had held her spellbound all those years ago. The egotistical machismo that once turned her stomach, though still making a brief appearance every so often, had softened more than she would have ever dreamed. And, at times, the man who seemed always so confident…always so self-assured…seemed almost…humble…docile even. She felt her instincts for self-preservation melting away. She knew she needed to compose herself quickly or she'd be lost in fantasy the rest of the day….

"Game plan…right" she couldn't believe she was agreeing to this nonsense…."Where do you want to meet."

Andy had to think fast…he had made the invitation with no real credence she'd follow through….Now he was the one who had to come up with a strategy.

"Henry's coffee shop…tomorrow evening….it's just a few blocks away." Genius! He congratulated himself. The spot was far away for anyone to follow them unnoticed, and in the direction of her apartment. He'd hail her a taxi then go back to the building and get his car.

The further forward things progressed, the tighter her chest became. "Alright, sounds like a plan…." She conceded, hoping this would finally send him away so she could regain her proper focus and get back to work.

Sanchez didn't look away from the screen for a second….but at this point he was merely typing gibberish into a Word document to appear busy. He couldn't believe what he was hearing behind him. He knew someone had to be involved with this…but who…Sykes…Provenza…the Captain…Whoever it was, he had to give them credit….it was about time these two broke down the wall.

"See you then…." He responded, finally making what he hoped was a solid departure, heading straight for the men's room so he could put his brain back together. What the hell had he just done…?

Actually much sooner….she laughed to herself….they would after all have to spend the entire work day together first….With any luck, he'd be called off on some case or other…maybe on the other side of town….around four…four thirty…and she'd be able to gracefully skate the arrangement. It was bit grotesque, she had to admit, to wish for a heinous crime to be committed just to get her out of a social engagement…still, she couldn't help but wish it…even just a false alarm….

No such luck…The following day was blessedly quiet. There was still work to be done on the cases that had already hit their desks. Witnesses and suspects, and suspects who thought they were witnesses… attorneys and other representatives…all flowing in and out of the squad room. Taylor himself stepped in, to make sure to receive Walton's acceptance of his invitation…in person. He was near shocked when he got what he was looking for, within moments of first mentioning it. Almost disappointed there was no fight to be had, he turned back and headed for his own office.

The end of the day finally arrived. Showtime…they both secretly thought.

Jess, with no small trepidation, made the first move, shutting down her computer, prepping the papers that surrounded it for the following work day. Then, grabbing her purse, she took her brakes off mid-lock and wheeled around to Flynn's desk.

Hearing her prep in the distance, Andy too had begun to shut down but didn't have a chance to gather his desk before she had pulled up.

"Ready…."

"Almost there…." He assured, his system slowly powering down. He made some mild attempt to organize the tousle that was his desk. She looked, knowing she'd have to straighten him out…again…the next time he was out of the office, before Rios started another tirade about documents being late.

They arrived at the coffee shop. Being Wednesday evening, it was slow and quiet. Open tables were abound, but getting through the maze of chairs was no small task, even in Jess's streamlined chair.

When they finally arrived at a table by the far wall, with enough space for her to sit without being pressed between their table and the one behind, Jess slapped her hand to her head…All the distance she had finally made…and she hadn't yet ordered her coffee.

"I guess I'm buying." Andy teased mildly, having planned to do so the entire time anyway…now she would have no option but to let him.

"I'm getting next." She spat…before realizing what she was saying….next?

He pulled his elevating eyebrow to parade rest. Struggling to read off to her the varieties they had to offer, she spoke forth what she wanted. "My legs have the issues, Andy…my eyes are just fine…although you might consider seeing an optometrist…Provenza finally did."

"I left my glasses at the office." He defended.

"Then perhaps it's your memory that needs help…not your eyes after all…"

Neither his memory, nor his eyes, had any problem absorbing the vision that sat before him. The years had been more than kind. She had gone from the light brunette he remembered to a bold red head, a brash choice one would think for someone her age, but it suited her well. She had kept in shape to say the least…all the right parts in all the right places…a realization that till now, he hadn't allowed himself to contemplate. Chair or no chair….it was as though she hadn't changed a bit.

He surrendered to her teasing, offering no further resistance to her commentary, and excused himself to place their order at the counter.

Conversation was stunted at first….Andy shied back from asking too much about her time in the military, afraid it would lead up to details of the events leading to her however honorable discharge….details it might be too painful to discuss. Though she was dying to know, she denied herself the right to ask him about his marriage…But once he opened up on his own, offering up story after story of his daughter's wedding, and all the ridiculous behavior of his in-law, things started flowing much more smoothly.

For all the strong undercurrent raging within either one of them, there wasn't the slightest hint of romance…Five turned to Six…to Seven….and before it turned to eight, Flynn suggested they move on to a small Italian place he knew.

"It's a bit too far to…" he hesitated….

"Walk?" she laughed. "It's ok Andy….I can handle the vernacular." She was almost surprised using the word in her presence bothered him. The first week she had been there, similar words were dropped and whispered, till she nearly threatened an impression of the late Sam Kinnison in Back to School….Since then, conversations went on as normal, occasionally with a slight nod in her direction, which she simply ignored most of the time anyway.

"I can go back to my car and…"

"I can manage the trip….trust me…I can still out run you…just have to do it with my arms now…instead of my legs…"

As much as she hated making light of her situation, it was a version of sweet lemons for her. She had never fallen short in regard to her upper body strength, and it had only grown since…the chair…She knew she could out 'run' him in that thing….she still wished she didn't have to.

They reached his car. She silently thanked Ged it was a midsize and not compact, not that she figured this Metro-maniac wouldn't be caught dead in one. She proceeded to gently instruct him on how to help her into the front seat, then how to fold up her chair so it would easily fit in the trunk.

"See…cake walk!" He cheered, sliding into the driver's seat himself. When he reached to help her with the seat belt, she sharply yet playfully slapped his hand away….

"Paws off mister…we just met!" he just stared at her. She stared right back…They just sat there in silence till the dam broke and they just laughed themselves silly. Her seatbelt clicked as the engine started up and they were on their way.


	6. The Gala-had

No one could deny things had gone along much more comfortably in the office since the pair's 'coffee' encounter. They still both kept to themselves in the office, for the most part, but there was less pressure in the times they would interact. Even their arguments seemed somehow less intense.

The one slight oddity Sykes had noticed, was how Flynn seemed to be texting more and more often as days progressed, sometimes smiling at what appeared on his phone. She thought for a moment they might e-speaking like a couple of teenagers…but she rarely if ever caught Jessica doing the same thing. It wasn't until she spotted a tab on her internet window that she realized….Jess had been texting him from a website on the computer….the little sneak!

The night had finally arrived. Jess was a wreck. Given her druthers days before, she would have preferred to go dress shopping with Sykes, but knowing there would be no end to the taunts the entire time about who she was going with, she opted for a roll call of her old military buddies. Shelia, a friend she had met in rehab, agreed to tag along. They went from store to store, trying to find the 'right one'….Something that would show off Jess's still lovely legs, without offering any issues in 'covering her rear flank' if she were to go to the restroom, or providing the so called gentlemen in the room to much of an in-depth view of her cleavage from their stance above her. Shelia was always a trip. She too had lost her legs in the fighting, but more so in the physical sense. After fighting the VA for what seemed like years, she was finally granted access to properly custom fit prosthetics. She even determined to take what advantage she could of her disability, and requested they be created to increase her once 5'4" stance to 5'9". The mold was perfect, just the right shape to not give away her little secret. It took a bit longer for her to learn how to keep her balance, but she was resolute. In no time, she wasn't just walking, but running the track like an Olympian. She refused to be left out of the fun during this trip. At every store, she would try on at least 3 or 4 dresses. The shopkeepers were stunned, some almost appalled, when she'd step out in a couture number, either with a mini-skirt in the front or a slit that came straight up the side, through which she would slink out her leg, striking poses scandalous enough to make the hottest centerfold pin-up blush.

"I feel sooooooo…sexy…" she'd growl. Jess just looked at her incredulously. If there was anyone from the hospital who had adjusted better to their new life than Shelia….she had never met them!

Setting off Shelia's harassments for much more, suggestive, attire, Jess finally decided on a considerably conservative outfit. Violet, with delicate lace overlay of a slightly lighter shade and clear reflective sequins, it came as a close mid-length skirt, sheer camisole with satin spaghetti straps that brushed just above the sweetheart neckline of her off the shoulder jacket. The restroom, as she feared, might still present a bit of a challenge, but if there were proper facilities, it wouldn't be that much of a problem.

"It's perfect….if you're the mother of the bride…." Shelia railed. But she knew, once her buddy had made up her mind on something…there was no changing it.

"Alright…on to the jewelry!" she announced in resignation.

Though the gown was truly understated, Shelia had underestimated the effect it could have on the other side of the species….or perhaps it was simply the woman in it.

By the day Andy knocked on the door, the tension had already been more than eased between them…but when he stepped through her threshold, there was pressure of another kind. The sight of her, sitting in her living room where she had called him to enter, still finishing the placement of her necklace and earrings, if she had stood up and spun around in front of him, she could not have been more beautiful.

"You're not looking so bad yourself." She meowed mildly, trying to hide her own awe. He was always handsome in the well pressed, tailored suits he wore every day to the office, but now….in a tux…he was truly stunning.

No….don't even go there…she told herself…there was just no future in it…not anymore.

"Shall we." She invited, grabbing her clutch from the table and turning quickly in his direction. Flynn could see she really wasn't waiting for an answer, as she made her way straight by him to the door. He did a quick two step, first avoiding her rolling straight over his well-polished shoes, and then to beat her to the door handle, opening it and motioning for her to proceed ahead of him. When they got to the car, he ran through the necessary process like a well-seasoned professional. When he sat down next to her and she grabbed the seat belt, he reached his hand over, but not quite as far, offering but not insisting on helping her. This time, though still somewhat shyly, she accepted.

The party was your standard affair. They greeted everyone they knew with genuine to polite pleasure, depending on the company. Taylor was so in his element, it was almost a comedy for them to see him in action. On spotting Jessica, he insisted on introducing her to what felt like everyone in the room. It was as though he was an art collector and she was his latest acquisition. After about 20 minutes of being the Commander's showpiece, Flynn finally tracked down Sharon and Fitz, her actual date for the evening, who were more than happy to assist in pulling her away from the gregarious clutches of her present warden.

The foursome sat at a table together off to the side, randomly being pulled away by one visitor or another, but in time coming back to the relative safety of their appointed basecamp.

When all three of her cohorts had unwittingly abandoned her, Jess met up with a face she hadn't seen in what felt like years….

"Well…aren't you a sight for sore eyes…" a familiar voice laughed.

Jess turned and saw who was speaking. She couldn't help but smile….it was the brash young loud-mouth who's team she had pulled out of the fire….was it really just a couple years ago….

"Sergeant Jackson Brandt…..you finally made it back to the states….how long you stayin'….three days maybe?" she teased. In all their communications, he always made it a point to tell her how much he was looking to quickly geting back to the action. His time stateside was more than the mere length he mentioned, it would often take longer than that just to go through all the stops to get home….but his turn around was never long. The longest he had probably stayed in-country was when she was shipped back for rehab and therapy….She had no real family of her own, and though she fought him at first, in the end, she was relieved by his determination to stay by her side till she was settled and making some level of progress. He knew how bull-headed she could be. Doctor, nurse, trainer….MP….it seemed no one was going to talk her into doing what she refused to do….no one but him at least. If it took every last ounce of strength in him, she was getting out of that bed. It didn't matter to him if it was on her feet or in a chair, as long as she was up and bossing people around again.

And now, there she was, sitting, and even smiling, before him in a world of stuffed shirts….in a uniform he felt was almost as becoming on her and the ones he had seen her in time and time again.

"You'll forgive me if I don't stand and salute." She laughed. He knew the thought still stuck her like a bullet to the neck, but she held strong. She always did.

"Apology accepted. What are you doing in these parts…."

"Well, like you said…I couldn't stay in bed forever….had to get out and do something."

"So what are you doing now?"

"Keeping my bunch of ragged recruits in disciplined order." Came another voice, stepping up behind him.

"Sharon….you're kidding….you snagged her up?" Brandt turned to her with stunned surprise.

"Well, after the glowing review you gave her, I knew she was just the person for the job…the aptitude….the attitude…and not to mention the stomach for it…."

Jessica's mind wandered to the Merkel case…the one that had landed her in the hospital a few weeks ago…..Sometimes she wondered if she really did have the stomach for this. But then a little voice would come up within her, just as it had during her days in the fighting…something she had heard in a movie once…

"If not me….who….if not now…when…"

Yes, she had the stomach…and if she didn't…she would find a way to get it.

"Captain Raydor was nearly impossible to turn away…almost as bad as you are!" she teased.

"Jessica, we're off hours now….call me Sharon for heaven sake…"

Before starting, Sharon was Sharon….since her first day, they'd barely seen each outside the office….so she was Captain Raydor….this switching around was going to give her a headache…nonetheless…she simply nodded her assent to the Captain's request.

"And who do we have here trying to steal away my date for the evening…." A cloudy haired gentleman intruded from behind the Sargent.

"Sargent Brandt, I'd like to introduce you to one of my Detectives. Lieutenant Andy Flynn…"

Brandt stood silently stunned for a moment….this couldn't be the man Jess had been…investigating, or so she claimed….over the years. He never knew what had gone on with them to inspire her continued in curiosity….but to now see him in the flesh….and just which one of these ladies was he claiming for his own.

As another, slightly taller man came forward and moved straight in next to Sharon, it wasn't hard to complete the calculation…more to process it…She…was with him?

He reached his hand out to both men, as Sharon also introduced her to Fritz in turn, mentioning both his recent history with the FBI and his new position with the LAPD.

"That's quite a resume…" Brandt responded, impressed even with the little he heard.

"It's been a long and interesting road…." Fritz admitted, "Your dossier isn't too bad either….I've more than heard tell on a number of your exploits…."

He turned back to Jessica…."Have you been telling tales out of school again…"

"Moi?" she offered in a faux fluster….

"I'll have to plead guilty to this one" Sharon admitted. "You've told me so many stories over the years; you can't deny me the right to put forward at least a few of them…." Brandt smiled, with a bit of humility. He wasn't in the army for the glory, as a number of those he served with were….just out of a sense of duty….receiving accolades wasn't something he was accustomed to, unless it was perhaps as part of a larger group.

One of the waiters came by to the group, as another was clearing the table of their glasses and plates.

"Can I get any of you anything from the bar….."

Before a note of discomfort could be echoed, Jess chimed in.

"One Jack and coke….hold the Jack…."

"I'll have what the lady's having." Flynn smiled

"A third over here…." Fitz added in.

Brandt wasn't sure what he was missing, but nodded his turn.

"Guess I'll finish the round…same here." Raydor finalized. The waiter smiled, nodded and walked away, cracking up slightly as he wondered if he just stumbled upon a mini-meeting during the open bar.

The evening continued. Stories of wars in foreign lands and on the home front were exchanged. Tales of political headaches with higher ups were whispered and laughed upon. One who's name they were careful not to mention, directly, walked up on them as Jackson was enlightening them all on the description of a firefight he had in the 2 am darkness….with a falling tree branch…

"I swear…it sounded just like the start of gun fire!" he avowed, embarrassed. The whole lot howled with laughter.

"So this is where you've been hiding yourself…." Taylor declared, finally catching up on the whereabouts of 'his' latest find…"I was hoping to introduce you to…."

"Actually…" Flynn stepped in, risking his superior's wrath to rescue his companion from another round of sickeningly despotic prologues. "I was about to take the young lady home. We were loaded for bear at the office today, and I'm sure she's exhausted…."

"Absolutely…" she followed along with his scheme. "Gentlemen….Sharon….It's been wonderful to sit with you all." She smirked a bit to herself, finally having the colloquialism in Her favor. "Sargent, we must get together again soon….Commander, I'm sorry but I really must be going…"

"I completely understand." Taylor responded, cordially, but crestfallen. She had been his biggest home run since his promotion…there was so many more people there he could show her off to….

"Andy, would you be a dear…." She entreated, motioning to the handles on the back of the chair…partly to follow up on her supposed exhaustion, partly because she had so much damn trouble navigating her way to their spot through the crowds and tables, she really didn't want to be bothered working her way out.

"It would be my privilege." He responded, sweeping his jacket from the back of his chair and nudging his hands forward. She graciously complied, leaning in while he draped it gallantly over her shoulders. Brandt sat static, in stunned amazement…She had never spoken poorly of the man…rarely spoke of him at all…but something about her demeanor always gave him the impression that the mere thought of him pained her…now, she was wearing his coat and letting him push her chair...an action she had only allowed of him when she had been completely and totally wiped out from a PT session, claiming it was a measure of control over her life that she had to hold on to, and not let anyone take away from her. And yet, there she was, noble and carefree as a princess in her carriage as they both strolled off and out of the room.

Arriving back at her apartment, there was a mild tension building again…

"I'd invite you in for a nightcap, but…" she lured, no violation intended or taken by her words.

"I do drink coffee…" he smiled back.

"Well…I think I can manage that..." she returned, pressing the key into the lock and opening the door.

They talked for over an hour. The pot she had made and placed on the coffee table had long since gotten cold, but it was no matter to either of them.

The mood far more relaxed than it had been between them in years, Andy softly leaned over….

"No….no…." she pulled back strongly. It wasn't what she wanted to do….but what felt she had to.

"What's wrong?" Andy put forth confused. He was more than sure things were moving forward between them. He wasn't on planning on jumping into bed with her that night….but he was hoping…

"Don't be ridiculous….You know what's wrong….." she responded, in growling frustration….

"Jess, my marriage is over…..it's been over for a long time….I never looked you up because…" he stopped for a second. Could he admit it to her? After the way they had left things…after the way she must have felt he led her on….He just couldn't believe she would ever be interested in him again. Then there was the alcoholism….He wasn't the overgrown frat boy he used to be…He doubted her interest in who he had become….and yet, the same woman he doubted was the first to order a Jack-sans-Coke….or however she had put it…Now…with all those years and difference behind them…why wouldn't she yet give him another chance?

"I…I know that…it's not that….it's…." She stammered. He had let free one elephant in the room….but the other was staring him right in the face…How could he not see it!

Andy just stared at her…totally not following any lead she was giving him. She just tightened all the more, shaking her head.

"Isn't it obvious….?" She insisted.

"What?" he pressed. Then the light finally went on…."Your chair…is that what this is about….You've got to be kidding me…." He part scolded, part soothed. He had never dated anyone disabled before. Yes he had a few friends, among what few friends he had, who had physical issues, but whatever their gender, it was just that, a simple friendship…He never thought about it in detail, but nonetheless, it wasn't something he considered ever negating someone for in the realm of possibility…but apparently that's exactly what she was doing…why, he just couldn't fathom….

Jess's in depth personal history wasn't something she shared with many, if any….Throughout her adult life, she had had a handful of 'romantic encounters', but none it seemed worked out any better than the near miss she had had with Flynn. Not all of the failures were on the part of her partner…She just had a lot of issues….trusting…especially when it came to men. She was always intent on submerging herself in her career. It required her to trust, she knew that, but she trusted her own instincts just as much, and sometimes even more so, than she trusted those that surrounded her. It was partly what got her into so much trouble with her superiors, and partly why she was continuously traded from team to team….even occasionally at her own request. She simply refused to allow herself to get close to anyone. Brandt was as close to an exception as she'd ever allowed, and that was only because he pretty much left her no other choice. In the hospital, she was in no condition to refuse him. It wasn't like she could get up and blockade the door, and he was too much help with her for the attendants and medical personnel to take her demands over his requests and otherwise impede his entrance…like it or not, she was pretty much stuck with him and would have to make the best of it…so she did…and discovered, at least in his case, trusting wasn't so bad after all….He had never pressed any form of romance…she figured that was either because she had managed to intimidate him at least that much in their past….or because of the chair. In either case, friendship was as far as it was ever going to go…of that, she was certain…in fact, it was more than likely to be the case for anyone who came into her life in the future….it was all she could do to manage life with this cursed mechanism…how could she ask anyone else to handle it with her?

Andy wouldn't release his gaze. Jess sat on the sofa, her eyes downcast, hands folded, wishing her chair wasn't on the other side of him so she could make a simple quick exit to her bedroom and have this night finally end the way she knew it would….with her in her bed, alone again.

Andy reached out to her again, more slowly this time. She flinched, as though afraid of his touch.

"Jess…you know I'll never hurt you….I never meant to hurt you back then…things were just moving…I was feeling…good….not thinking….which unfortunately was par for the course with me." He slowly released his apology for their past…..words that were a long time in coming….but would they be enough to save their future…."Your….the way you are…it doesn't scare me…."

"You mean my disability…my handicap…" she pounded forward, refusing to let the moisture that was gathering in her eyes show forth in the slightest. "It doesn't scare you? You can't even say the words!"

"Fine!" he pushed back. "Your disability…your inability to walk…exactly how would you like me to put it…What phraseology would make you understand, I just Don't Care….You….you captivate me….you always have. The only thing about your chair that ever scared me was the day we all found you unconscious on the floor. There was blood pouring out from your scalp. Thankfully the wound was more slight then we…I had first feared….but to see you just lying there like that….Jess, it scared the crap out of me!"

"Yeah well, if that scares you, how do you manage the day to day in the office…." She dared.

"That's different! We're talking about you now…about us…"

"Us?" she responded, like the pronoun was something she had never heard before.

"Yes, US! You and Me! I never thought you'd be in my life ever again…then there you were….I barely thought you'd ever speak to me again….Then you agreed to this party…then there was the coffee…and dinner…and all our conversations…things seemed like they were actually coming together right for once…and let me tell you, that's not an everyday event in my life!" He was near shouting now.

Jess wasn't sure what made her want to tremble the most, the volume in his voice, or his sincerity…Was all this something he actually wanted….something he'd even consider…. The never to be forgotten fantasies of that long lost night….could they actually come true…it seemed too impossible…and yet….

She just sat there, motionless. Andy was at a total loss. He thought of reaching out a third time. He wanted to hold her, bring her tightly in his arms, but he feared that might push her farther away…it couldn't just be the chair that was holding her back….keeping her from him….just what was it?

He reached again, but lower this time. His palm facing down, he slowly took gentle hold of one of her hands, then turning in slightly, reached his far hand up for the other one.

"Jess.." he implored gently, his voice much softer than before…"Talk to me….why….why not me…?"

It was getting harder and harder for her not to cry…it wasn't Andy…it wasn't him she was refusing…had it been anyone else, she would have refused them too…Her dreams had been just that…dreams. Reality never worked out anywhere near as well for her with anyone in the past. Something always went wrong. Now, there was just a physicality that made that disappointment all the more certain.

"I….I just know I'll never be able to make you happy." She confessed, hoping it would be enough to stop his pursuit.

"You already do…" he beseeched. "Jess, I'm not looking for anything immediate….I…I just want us to have a chance to try and start over….see what might have been….if things had been different…."

"Things are different." She near sobbed.

"Well, if that's the case, it's the perfect place to start." He insisted. He was not going to be deterred by anything….not this time. "Just tell me…say that we can see each other again….I'm not looking for guarantees….just a chance….Won't you please just give me a chance?"

She sat just as still…a chance….he was pleading with her for a chance…What right did she have to this man….He was a bit up in years like she was, but fully vital, able….more than likely functional…She was…unsure. She still had some sensation in her midsection, but she never contemplated being intimate with anyone after the incident. Physically, she'd be able, likely with near mortifying assistance….but would she be able to fully enjoy it, or just lay there, a functional mannequin for his pleasure, until his enjoyment of her ran out. He deserved more than that…She deserved more than that…but that was perhaps the best she would get…And yet, here he was…pleading with her…for a chance….

Her hands slowly closed around his….this was likely the best chance she would ever have to find out if there was any true happiness to be had in her life…maybe her only chance…Her eyes lifted to his…terrified…but hopeful…

He gently squeezed back, a relieved smile filling his cheeks. His hand floated gently and swept back her tresses as they hung near over her eyes…yes…he had gotten a yes….

"Thank you…." He whispered, planting a soft kiss on her forehead. She wanted more…so much more…but not yet…Tonight, this was as much as she could probably handle.

"I should be going…." He resigned gently, not looking to push for more. Just happy to be where they were, as they were, and glad to see even the dimmest glint of light for their future. She was softly still for a while, then, as if coming out of a short dream, her eyes cleared, and she nodded.

"Perhaps Sunday…we could…get together for brunch…?" she offered, a note of caution in her tone.

"It's a date." He promised. "Where should I pick you up…."

"As usual, it's mostly necessary at the car….but we can meet here first."

He blinked for a second. A wry smile began to brighten her previously stark composure….This woman was a never ending puzzlement.

"Shall we say….eleven?"

"Twelve…actually, twelve thirty would probably be best…." She delayed. She knew a number of meetings were held at churches….but she wasn't sure he attended otherwise.

Brandt had pressed her to go to chapel when in the center…just another one of his excuses to get her out of the bed that he refused to let her refuse. But in time, she found herself wanting, almost needing to go….She wasn't sure if it was the simple pageantry, the heartwarming music, or the presence of…something she wasn't quite sure of yet…love….the divine….God…but something just softly moved her to make the journey week after week, whether or not he was there to push her. When she first moved to the city, she tried out a few of the local houses, of various denominations, and even religions. Though she had a curiosity about many, and near to all invited her back, some were considerably difficult for her to get into. Though a number of the patrons were more than happy to help her in, it was something she still just didn't like…strangers, passing her and her chair around like a package for delivery…it simply was not her way. She preferred just coming in and going out under her own power. Though she kept in contact with a number of them, there were just one or two she actually went to on Sunday. Either of the congregations were friendly enough, while still allowing her some privacy in their midst, the exact balance she was seeking. They weren't gossip mongers, but having a gentleman attending her would definitely have questions springing up. Perhaps it was best she just left his visit for later.

"Where do you go?" he inquired, not needing his skills as a super-sleuth to comprehend the reason she would likely be detained….

"Congregational on 82nd….or sometimes the UMC on Broad…." She replied, knowing she'd been plainly found out.

"James B….I think he attends the one on 82nd…mind if I join you…."

She was a touch surprised. Besides all her other reasons, she thought he was Catholic…why would he….but then again, he was after all, a divorced Catholic…maybe he wasn't looking to be so choosey any more…

She still had qualms about his arriving with her, and the subdued wake it would create….but if he already knew someone there, maybe it wouldn't be so bad….

"Service starts at 10:45….if you get here at 10 we should get there without a problem….."

"What about parking?" he asked.

"It's…rolling distance…." She taunted. If he was really ready for life with someone in a chair, he better be ready for the crap she was ready to give for those few who claimed to be.

He gave a crooked smile and shook his head. Standing up, he took her hand again, lifted and kissed it. He took his jacket from the back of the adjacent chair, and made his way to the door.

"I will see you at 10 then. Good night." He called, turning back to her as he opened the door and made his exit.

She just sat, gazing with a blank smile at the now shut and empty door. Never in a thousand years would she have believed the night would turn out like this….oh, she might have dreamed it one night, long ago….but to believe it…..


	7. Going to the Chapel

Andy showed up at her door at 9:55. Sharply dressed as ever, Jess wondered if he was looking better in reality, or if it was simply because she no longer felt the need to hide, completely, the feelings she had for him.

They arrived at the church with enough time to greet the few people she knew by name, get playfully quizzed, and corrected, by some of the others, and find seating that allowed for her to remain in her chair without causing a blockade in the aisles. She was a bit surprised to find when they entered the sanctuary that a portion of the usual chairs had been moved away near, but not totally at, the front, so she could just swerve herself into place, without sticking out like a pine tree among more deciduous plantings. She was honored by the hospitality, but even more pleased that no one made a show of it for her. It was one of the children who simply, if a bit excitedly, pointed it to her. She had hoped to sit with Jessica herself, but seeing the strange man with her, she ran off back to her family, slightly disappointed…her chance to buddy up with the fancy lady with the shiny wheels totally ruined.

The service was lovely. The pastor's sermon was deeply moving, as much as it was blessedly brief. The choir, though a space away from sounding truly professional, offered up their best attempt at some classic hymns, some on their own, sometimes joined by the congregation. Flynn, not so familiar with the catalog, spent more time listening than singing, especially to Jessica; her contralto, near inaudible at some points, came through strong and true at others. He also watched her calm, contemplative expression as she sang, showing to the world how she truly was feeling the words she expressed.

When the service ended there was no escaping the swarming congregation, as all of them insisting the couple join them for their fellowship hour…downstairs…a word Jess truly hated. Nonetheless, they were being so sweet, incredibly curious about the new attendee on her arm, yet still not pressing too hard for information they couldn't receive willingly. The pair couldn't say no. She looked up to Andy as they stood atop the stairs, locked her chair in place just out of the way from any passersby, and allowed him to pick her up and carry her down, just as he did when he transferred her into the car. One of the group arranged for a set of chairs to be held for them, a few steps away but not too far from the staircase. Andy placed her gently down and was about to get them some items from the buffet, a woman nearly pushed him back into the adjacent seat, insisting she would serve them both instead.

If there was one thing this group of churchgoers seemed to do better than pray…it was Eat! The assortment of homemade treats they had available was astounding. They were offered so much of what was provided, Jess even teased that Andy might have some issues getting her back up the stairs. By the time the two came out, the last thing either of them was interested in was Brunch.

"We could go to a movie, if you'd like….I hear the latest Jason Tarmack film was just released."

Jess smiled, movies were an easy outing for her, something she was neither concerned about going to, as the seating arrangements were generally simple, nor attending on her own…Not to mention her military id often got her in at a discount, if she wound up paying at all. It didn't surprise her any that the latest James Bond styled film was of central interest to Flynn. But the day was too beautiful to be indoors, in the darkness….not to mention that type of setting might be too…evocative…for this point in their relationship.

"It's too lovely a morning…errr..afternoon…What about a walk in the park or something."

"I know just the place…." Andy smiled. Ok, a stroll along a lakeside was a little My Fair Lady for his liking…but the female by his side was more than fair…For her…he'd almost give it a shot…but maybe not so local. It wasn't that he was looking to hide her, but if he was going to do this….he was going to do it in style.

After about a forty minute drive, they arrived at their destination. Andy went through the usual routine, and in short order, had Jess slipped out of his car and into her chair, which luckily was all-terrain ready, as the parking lot was little more than a gravel encrusted field. Jess once again, calmly surrendered control of her vehicle, and they bounced along the main thoroughfare to a grand historic mansion.

Jessica hesitated. Undoubtedly, Flynn would want to go in. It looked lovely, but homes built in this period were rarely meant for people like her. It's not like it had been FDR's home or anything….

Seeing her growing discomfort, Andy was ready to nip it in the bud. He quickly grabbed a brochure for the place and flipped it to the back, pointing to the lower corner, with a handy symbol and writing clearly declaring 'wheelchair accessible'.

"We might be able to do little more than peer into a couple of the rooms, but for the most part, there shouldn't be a problem." He assured. She looked up at him….maybe he was ready to share his life with someone in her circumstance….maybe more ready than she was.

They toured through the great halls and grand and cozy bedrooms. The personal audio tour guides were extremely convenient when it came to both hearing the description of the rooms and getting the details on what life was like when the dwelling was an actual private residence. Communication between the two of them became a challenge however, since neither could hear the other with the earphones on. They'd just tap each other back and forth when they wanted to say something….a simple gesture, which seemed to become more and more intimate with every touch, till Andy found himself laying his hand on her shoulder, even when they weren't looking to talk.

A few of the rooms, as Andy expected, had doorways too narrow for even Jess' chair to fit through, an exemption that had been allowed by the state due to the ornate styling of the doorframes, or original décor displayed in the hallway. Andy offered once again to carry her in. Jess far from relished the idea, especially in such a public venue, but in the case of one particularly lovely room, she allowed it. Everyone surrounding them made room as he lifted and carried her through, turning slowly from one direction to the other so she could see everything. She was still slightly uncomfortable with the attention of the crowd, but somehow, being in his arms, she wasn't all that bothered by it….at least to the point where he threatened to throw her on the bed on the other side of the ropes. The whole room laughed, including Jessica herself.

"I knew this was a bad idea" she hissed, with only the tiniest amount of sincerity…His only response, a roguish, wry smile.

It took about two hours for them to complete the full tour. By then, hunger was slowly beginning to sneak up on them. They stopped into the patio luncheonette on the property and ordered up a few appetizers, being very glad they hadn't chosen a full meal when they saw the size of the plates.

Half the afternoon gone, they toured the grounds for a while, enjoying the gardens, fountains, and grassy fields….Jess, who would have otherwise found such rough terrain a complete annoyance, giggled like a schoolgirl as Flynn raced her through the furrowed turf. Even Flynn, who never would have dreamed of going out on a trip like this himself, was having a fabulous time.

As the sun started to set, they pulled off on the way back to the city on a causeway beach. Flynn, not bothering with the chair this time, drew her out of the car and set her straight down on the sand.

As the light dimmed and they watched the colors change, conversation was quiet and light, mostly because they had exhausted themselves through the course of the day, but partly, because more and more, they were just enjoying the sense of the other being around….being there.

As the last of the color was fading, Jess lifted her hands from the ground just enough, and flopped back a little more suddenly than she had planned into the powder that surrounded them. Flynn, thinking she had slipped, sprang right into action…

"Are you ok…" his concern radiated as he near leapt over her, his eyes locked on hers, searching for any sign of pain.

"You dope, I meant to that…well, a bit more gracefully but….." she tittered. His tension eased, though his positioning didn't change. He just looked down on her, and she up at him. This kind of closeness, the silent submission to his dominance, she would have otherwise avoided at all costs. In relationships she had had in the past, most of them at least, given this circumstance, she would have been able to slide her way out with little problem. Now, her options were limited….to whatever he wanted for the most part. It had taken some time, even to begin, but she was slowly beginning to feel this concept wasn't as threatening as she first thought.

Slowly he leaned in…she offered no resistance…tilting his head ever so slightly….they shared their first…real….gentle…kiss.

"So….it appears you've moved on from your obsession with me…" Sharon teased as she met Flynn in the coffee room. He had requested to meet her there, outside the peering eyes and ears of the squad room, to discuss what he called a 'personal matter'.

"What?" he decried.

"Please, don't tell me you haven't heard the chatter around the building about our clandestine affair….How it started with you daughter's wedding and how we've been carrying on in secret ever since…" she half smiled. It was always amazing to her how various police departments, the very same people who sought so much to find the truth in matters, would allow themselves to be swallowed up so completely in such preposterous hearsay.

Flynn couldn't deny, he had heard it too, from those who thought he was out of earshot. He contemplated contesting the blather, but thought the more he protested, the more they'd think it was actually going on, so he just let it go.

"Yes, Sharon." He did what he could not to laugh, "I'm afraid it's over between us…"

"I'm sure you can see how broken hearted I am…" she responded, as the desire to hold back their incredulity over the whole thing grew less and less…."Now, on to what we're really here for…"

This was the hard part. To some level, it was ironic that the captain had brought up their alleged relationship when they first stepped in, when he himself had asked her there to discuss his ongoing and actual relationship with Jessica….or at least the one he hoped they were starting.

"Could this be in regard to our new recruit?" Sharon responded to Andy's contemplative silence, trying to break the ice.

"Yes, as a matter of fact….I don't know that there's anything to report officially….but Jessica and I…." he wasn't quite sure how to go about saying this. He had been far from dateless over the years, but never had there been anything serious…and only rarely from within the walls of this building.

"Are seeing each other…" she continued.

"Yes," he answered, relieved. "Again, I don't know that it has…or will become.." though, he had to admit to himself, he was hoping….he prayed Jess was not just outside the door to hear what he was saying, but not admitting to this part. "…but…I thought you should know….in case it does…."

Sharon held back a quiet smile. Though they were colleagues and coworkers, this group had become more like a family to her. She was glad to see Sykes' little plot working out so well. Flynn was more in the field, while Walton would be remaining in the office. They worked well together there, even while things had been however strained between them….she doubted there would be any lack of professionalism during work hours if they were together, at whatever level.

"I understand. I don't think there's a need to let Commander Taylor in on this just yet….and I'll leave it to you two to decide when you're ready to let the rest of the team know…" She answered, having no doubt the team had more than an inkling of the goings on, if they didn't fully know already. "As long as there's no impairment regarding your performance in the squad, I see no reason to impede your proceeding."

She watched as Andy's expression slowly changed from mild concern to quiet relief. He didn't think Raydor would have an issue with their relationship….but bringing it up…in a professional atmosphere….was something he just was not used to.

As they both confirmed their agreement and turned to walk out the door, Sharon stopped him just as he entered the hallway…

"Andy…"

"Yes Sharon…"

"It was fun while it lasted…" she teased. He just looked at her, smiled and shook his head…then turned to step back to his desk.

Jess secretively, solely with peripheral vision, watched as Andy returned to his desk, with Sharon following shortly behind to her office. Part of her questioned, part of her was sure what had just gone on. As Andy turned to her, smiling and nodding before turning back to answer the ever ringing phone, she knew. A part of her was miffed, wishing he had talked to her before mentioning this to the woman who was the superior for both of them, but more of her was relieved, and even happy that he had gone through with it. He undoubtedly knew the Captain better than she did, and for him to approach her, in regard to Jess herself…could only mean two things….one, that he really was serious about her….and two….

Rumors of their relationship together…had been greatly exaggerated….


	8. The Whole Truth

As she hade almost heard every member of the team say at some point in time, Jessica started to learn to live with the pictures and reports on the tragedies that were once full lives that came across her desk….but she doubted she'd ever learn to live with them. Just when she'd think the present case was the worst thing she'd ever seen or heard of in her life, something else would be brought in that was even worse.

One case came in she thought at first, though still tragic, wasn't 'that bad'. Ray Gibson, a 57 year old stock broker and divorced father of three grown children, was gunned down in a garage adjacent to his office. Provenza had been running the team through every lead found. It appeared they were chasing one dead end after another…the ex-wife, Lou's favorite answer, was having a liaison with her secret lover in Oregon, and cheating now on her second husband at the time of the murder. One son was on a date with his boyfriend, while the other two were at home with family, and in one case, had the Chief of D's nephew over for dinner…an irrefutable alibi in the force. They went through his co-workers, creditors, and clients….any and all of which had no reason, access, or proximity to the victim at the time of death. Probability told them this could and should be marked as a random shooting, but something in the gut was saying the killer knew the victim.

"Here's something." Tau offered, having been searching further and further into the periphery of the subject's life to see what might be uncovered. "The subject's niece, or possibly step niece, his brother's wife's daughter from a previous marriage, was released from Valley Farms Psychiatric hospital about a month ago. Says she was suffering from delusions…and irrational fears of persecution and harm. The issues began when she was about, six…..she'd been in and out of hospitals ever since."

Jess froze in her chair. An unrecognizable memory jarred her brain…she could sense something from her past, but for whatever reason, just couldn't pull it up.

"Don't know if it will get us anywhere, but it's worth a shot." Provenza admitted. The family lived out on the east coast, but Sykes reported after interviewing one of the kids that they would be coming down for the funeral. Kaitlyn, the daughter in question, was supposed to be coming with them, along with the rest of the family. The Detective called the victim's son and asked if a meeting could be arranged with his uncle and the others. Confused, but obliging, he agreed for them to meet at the family home the following afternoon.

"I'm afraid we can't help you, officers." Mr. Mathis responded. "We were on the other side of the country when all this occurred, as Jason explained when you interviewed him.

The conversation continued on, with more general questions offered up to the new arrivals. What recent contact they had had with the deceased….What was his apparent attitude the last time they spoke…did he seem bothered by anything.

Sanchez couldn't help but notice the wife's disguised discomfort during the whole situation. After about twenty minutes, she excused herself to the kitchen, offering to get any interested a cup of tea, which was strange enough since the housekeeper had just offered them the same 15 minutes before.

Sanchez opted to follow her, offering his assistance with bringing the pot and cups into the main room. Now that their conversation was out of the hearing of her husband, he began his own light interrogation of the wife.

"Ms. Mathis….is there something your husband isn't telling us…"

She hesitated for a while….but finally came forth with her confession. "It's my daughter. As you said, she just came out of the hospital a short time ago….she's been severely disturbed since she was very young…these bizarre fantasies of people trying to hurt her…She has been staying with us since her departure, but for a few days, perhaps a week ago, while we were on a short vacation in Aspen, she didn't come home. I'd get a call from her cell, saying she stayed over some friend or another's house, and not to worry, she did that a lot when we'd be in the area…But…I'm a mother and, you see…." She paused again, wondering if she should continue. "Worry is my middle name, always has been…"

"I completely understand." Sanchez confirmed, offering his own story of how his mother, even now, often called him to see what and how he was doing….often at the most inconvenient times. They shared a short laugh, but Ms. Mathis turned sober quickly as she continued her story.

"When I first heard about Ray's death, I started to wonder." The pained expression grew more prevalent on her face. "Kaitlyn's delusions all seemed to start with Jason's family. Visits back and forth were fairly common back then. There was even one time, so horrendous…the four of us were in a severe car accident. The other car ran the red light and slammed straight into the side of our vehicle. There were airbags, but they didn't solve everything. Jason and our son came out with a few cuts, bruised ribs and a broken arm. I had a dislocated shoulder and a moderate concussion. Kaitlyn was in a booster seat, as she was supposed to be, but her airbag didn't deploy. She was airlifted to a hospital here in LA. They put her into an induced coma. She was unconscious for over a week. When she was allowed to come too, she was groggy and confused. Doctors said that it was likely due to the concussion she had received. She had several broken bones, and was in traction for a long time after that. Jason and Jimmy were released after a few days. I was in for just short of three weeks, but poor Kaitlyn was locked in that place for months. When the casts were finally removed, she was in rehab for even longer. If I remember correctly, it was then that the delusions really seemed to take hold. Everyone blamed it on the concussion, saying as the swelling continued to dissipate, she would come back to reality….but she didn't." the mother began to sob…

Sanchez stepped up from the kitchen table where he had been taking notes, softly wrapping his arms around the crying woman, just as her husband walked in.

"What is the meaning of this!?" he demanded.

"Jason, it's nothing….I was just telling the detective about the accident all those years ago….I'm still furious with that mechanic, being so careless as to not flip the switch back after the inspection."

Sanchez noted that fact as well, though not yet writing it down.

"Mr. Mathis, would there be any chance we might be able to speak with your children?" Detective Flynn requested, trying not to play his hand at the suspect they already had in mind.

"I don't see the good it will do…Our son is out meeting with some old friends, and our daughter, as you know, is severely disturbed, and had been locked away for most of her life after the accident you've now forced my wife to painfully relive….but if you insist….I will make sure they are both available tomorrow morning. Now, I would appreciate it if you would please leave."

As the team began to make their exit, Provenza stepped forward, "That will be fine, Mr. Mathis, but if I might make one request. Budgets, such as they are, are getting tighter and tighter. There were a number of us here today, to do the preliminary and follow up interviews with as much expedience as possible, we certainly couldn't all come in one car. If you could possibly see to it that your children come up to the police station, it would be a great help."

Jason stared at the impudent officer who had so calmly plated his outlandish case. Seeing no extreme reason not to, he agreed to make arrangements for his family members to attend to their now appointed meetings with the officers the next day.

"I will tell you one thing…" he added. "If you want to have Kaitlyn able to talk at all, not that she could have anything to say, you'd better set her up to speak with one of your female officers… And one that will speak to her a great deal more gently than you've apparently spoken to my wife!"

"Jason, I told you….I'm ok" Ms. Mathis protested…."It's just remembering that accident….Detective Sanchez did nothing wrong..."

Not to be course, Sanchez still nodded in brief apology, then followed Tau and Sykes out of the home, followed by the higher ranking officers.

Every bit of information he was receiving, just made the detective more and more curious…There was something about the family history, something just under the surface, that he could sense deep within was the precursor of this murder…

Returning to the office the next day, Andy was greeted by a uniform from the motor vehicle division.

"Andy that request you processed….the vehicle is ready now."

A smile spread wide across his face…Finally!

"Everything inspected. Details checked…." He confirmed.

"100% ready willing and able to go!" the officer smiled back.

"Fantastic, we'll be down within the hour." He responded, hopping in the elevator. As the doors closed and the chamber rose, he answered the questioning gaze on his partner's face. Lou warned him, things might not go entirely as he planned, but Andy was sure this was the perfect arrangement for her.

After the team had assembled to review the new potential evidence, Jess was hit head on with mountains of papers and reports to complete and file. She had grown more than used to the procedures and processes by now, but still she wondered if some of the team, the senior officers especially, weren't taking more than their fair share of advantage of her presence.

When Andy asked her to join him downstairs, she was more than a little curious. He refused to answer his questions as to why, which began to make the team curious. She finally gave in, following behind and joining him in the elevator.

When they got to the rear parking lot, Jessica was seriously confused. What in the world was he up to? He sped up till he was 30 paces in front of her, and started talking with one of the mechanics. When he was done, she thought she saw the man hand him something. He turned back and signaled her to continue following.

After continuing a couple hundred yards further, Andy finally stopped, standing like a primped peacock next to an oversized SUV. The doors on it were not your standard arrangement. As he opened the doors, she began to see why.

"It's yours….a stolen recovery that got passed on, totally decked out and ready for action. This side door clicks open, and the elevator pops out, and down. The flanges are angled down, to make getting on easy. The elevation speed is one of the fastest in the industry. When it reaches the level, you roll yourself in and forward. By the time you and your chair are in place up front, the elevator has settled back inside and the door closes up behind you.

Jessica just sat there, stunned, trying to process what was in front of her. She was grateful, for certain…but she was also inexplicably hurt…..words failed her.

She looked down…shaking her head…turned and rolled away.

Flynn…was speechless. He turned back, beeping the large machine to get it closed, and raced off after her.

He found her toward the middle of the green in front of the building, her head in her hands…

"I thought you'd be…." He halted the continuance of his sentence, Provenza's warning ringing in his head….How had he managed to screw this one up?

She slowly slid her face from her hands. Lightly laughing through near tears, she finally spoke.

"Andy, this isn't the first vehicle I've been offered…but…I can't accept it….I hope you can understand…To me…if I did….it would be like accepting defeat….I haven't told anyone about this, but I'm still going to PT at night…and weekends….it's why I couldn't see you last Saturday….You see, I don't care what the doctors say…Some give me a chance, others don't….but no matter what…I'm Going to walk again…."

Reality finally dawned on him….Her apartment building and the office were within mere blocks…the apartment itself, though elevated, was on the first floor, with a wheelchair friendly entrance….The supermarket nearby delivered her groceries…and there were plenty of restaurants in the area to order in from or go out too. She must have done every bit of homework necessary to make sure she had little need if any of a vehicle…

"I'm guessing the facility is nearby as well" He conjectured. "I'm sorry, I should have discussed it with you….I just wanted it to be a surprise…."

She finally offered a sincere smile. "I can assure you, that part of the plan was a complete success!" she laughed, getting him to join her as well. "And I do appreciate the effort…and the….attempted gift…I just…" She paused for a moment. "Wait…you didn't have to pay for that, did you….?"

"I thought it might cost me some 'political capital' so to speak, but Taylor was more than happy to jump at the chance to get his new shining star a set of wheels, especially when they were sitting in his own garage taking up space…."

"Ughhhhrrrr….this could get messy" she resigned, not wanting to make him look bad to the powers that be, nor have it look as though she was ungrateful to the department. "Tell you what….I'll 'accept' the gift, if we can make arrangements that I'll never have to drive it….maybe put it in some cheap storage somewhere…if the time comes…." She stopped, not wanting to say the words…."It will be there at the ready….but till then…"

"It stays put….I'll even talk to the guys at the shop. I'm sure someone will be happy to take it for a short spin just to keep everything healthy. And if…or should I say When…you don't need it, we can send a suggestion up the flagpole to have it donated to a recovering veterans' organization…."

Jess liked the way he thought. "I love it when a plan comes together!" she beamed.

Meanwhile, inside the office, Sanchez was prepping for the arrival of Kailyn and Jim Mathis. The team discussed what was said by their father about how to proceed with the daughter. They didn't want to bring in an officer from outside the team, but no matter how calm and quiet Sykes was in an interrogation, there was something in her persona that could make her at least slightly intimidating.

Raydor had an idea…it could backfire completely…but it just might work….in Kaitlyn's case, she was willing to try it.

She excused herself to the ladies room, carrying a hair brush, spray, dark rich mascara and other lighter make up….Provenza watched her as she passed by. This was going to get interesting….

When she came to the door, her hair was tossed about, her lashes went out nearly three feet, and her lips were as pink as a wrap of cotton candy. It was all Jess and Andy could do not to crack up on the spot when they arrived back in the A/V room. Lou quieted them all down…The show was about to start.

Getting to the center table, Sharon let a folder she had compiled of miscellaneous forms, all expired or blank, fall off and scatter around the side of the table. Ducking down, she flipped her head forward so fast that when she looked up, it was as though she was impersonating a chestnut haired sheepdog.

Kaitlyn began to giggle. It was working….

Sanchez, who had been entered into the scene at the request of Ms. Mathis, being that her presence would not be allowed since Kaitlyn was not a minor and now having been released, was considered competent under the law, sat astounded, but pressed forward with the interview.

"Kaitlyn, I'm sure your parents told you we asked to see you today.

"It's about Uncle Ray….I think…."

"Yes…"

"You think I killed him…"

The pair just looked at each other.

"We…just wanted to ask you a few questions…about…"

"Well, you'd be right."

Raydor just looked forward in amazement. Sanchez mentally reviewed the moments since the Mathis' arrival…..She had already been given and signed off with no problem in regards to her Miranda rights…her doctors had confirmed her competence the previous day….but no one in their right mind had ever straight out confessed to murder without a lawyer present…not in his experience anyway…unless they were perhaps, protecting another…"

"I was tired of the lies….Tired of how everyone was treating me after what he did to me….tired of being afraid all the time…."

"What lies Kaitlyn…?" Sharon inquired. The young, troubled woman had opened the door. There wasn't anywhere to go but through it.

"That I was imagining things. Mommy said she told you about the accident….all the time I spent in the hospital….Daddy and Jimmy left for home and school shortly after they were released. Mommy stayed in California with me, but was too hurt herself to stay long in my hospital room from what the nurses told me. It was Uncle Ray who stayed with me. I remembered, when I started waking up….he was…" she stammered…hesitated…not sure the police in front of her now would believe her any more that they had years ago….than her own family had. "He was…touching me….there…."

"In your pelvic region…" Sharon confirmed, gently as she could…

"Yes…he was…rubbing me….putting his fingers…inside me…" she was noticeably trembling….both officers knew it was extremely unlikely that she was lying. They had some near academy award contending performances from suspects before…this…rang out too real.

"It was months before I told my mother…She told my father…who talked to Uncle Ray….He denied it…claimed I must have been still dazed from the concussion. My parents…they believed him….instead of me….The more I insisted, the more he denied…that's when the therapy started."

"It was Aunt Rita, Uncle Ray's wife, who thought if I spent some time with them I might get over these 'fantasies'." She spat out the last word as if it were the most sour candy in the store. "I didn't want to…I didn't want to at all! But Mommy and Daddy made me….Every trip, it got worse….He knew, even gloated over the fact he had my parents' trust more than I did…That's when he started telling me if I ever told on him again, he'd hurt me…or he'd have one of the people who worked for him do it…and that I wouldn't even know who they were. He told me he might even get someone in my family to do it…that's how much they cared about him…"

Sharon and Julio barely glanced at each other….this would explain the so called mysterious fears there was someone out to get her. Pieces were starting to fall into place.

"Kaitlyn….did Uncle Ray…" Sharon started, needing to ask but not wanting to lead her suspect/witness.

"No, at least not that I remember….I…I slept a lot…when I was at Uncle Ray's…it wasn't till later that I thought maybe the extra medicines I was taking there….weren't vitamins like they told me…."

"Did anyone else….know….did someone see Uncle Ray…doing these things to you…."

Kaitlyn stopped for a moment, more scared to go on now to talk about who had known her secret truth, than she was in telling of her crime.

"Kaitlyn," Sharon soothed. "You've done a very bad thing here…and if the bad thing you're saying Uncle Ray did to you is true, we need someone who will match your story….It's the only way that we can see that the bad thing you did doesn't get you punished really bad…."

"You don't need to baby talk me!" Kaitlyn responded, more hurt than offended. Why did everyone keep treating her like a child? It was the medications she was forced to take that muddled her brain and slowed her thoughts…If she could be free of those, like the four days she had spent at her friend's house, her mind finally clear enough to see reality, and to plan out what she had to do…she could finally show everyone the grown woman she had become…finally live her life instead of being shuttled around like an invalid!

The anger at once again being talked down to helped her overcome her fear. Through the resumed haze of her obligatory prescriptions, she further spoke out the name of the other who had also hidden her painful truth for so long…

"It was Jimmy!" she exclaimed, nearly crying. "He walked in when Uncle Ray was….then ran right back out again. He told me later how Uncle Ray was going to help him with something in school….how he wasn't going to help me tell mommy and daddy and get them to believe me….." at this, she finally broke down. Sanchez moved over slowly. Kaitlyn, seeing his approach, screeched the chair as far away from him as she could. Sharon stood slowly, and with slightly more success, laid her hands over the young girl's shoulders, and sought to comfort her. With Kaitlyn's eyes downcast, Sharon looked up to the camera and nodded. The information had to be passed forward to Tau and Sykes, who were interviewing Jimmy as a mere distraction…till now….

In the A/V room, Provenza passed the information on to the other parties through the earphones they were both wearing. They hid their surprise well, as their attendee now changed status from essential by-stander to possible accomplice.

No one seemed to notice as Jessica, who while in the room with Buzz Lou and Andy taking notes on the action and information, sat near motionless as the details in Kaitlyn's history came forth more and more clearly…

The questioning Jimmy was receiving became more serious and detailed….till he finally realized, they knew. Kaitlyn had told them what they both had been hiding for so many years.

"He told me no one would believe me any more than they had Kaitlyn…that I'd end up like she had…or worse!" he pleaded. "He started to promise me how he'd help me out with college. How he knew one of the deans of the school I wanted to go to the most…and how no matter how screwed up my grades were, he'd get me in…as long as I kept my mouth shut….I was a kid….I was pretty freaked out…both from what I had seen, and the things he was threatening me with. I agreed…I told Kate I wouldn't help her…She begged me and I just pushed her away and walked off…"

"You were her brother." Sykes demanded…"You were supposed to protect her…."

"I did….I really did…when I had the chance at least….When I finally went to school, she was on her own with the 'visits' to Ray and Rita's…it wasn't long till their kids were gone and the two of them divorced, then for some reason, it was arranged for her to visit with BOTH! I couldn't let this happen. Not sure how I managed to convince mom and dad, but I got them to change the plan and have her visit me at school instead. I was working between sessions, so we didn't spend all that much time together….not like she was that interested in being around me anyway…But she knew the alternative was worse. She'd spend her days around my apartment complex and got to know some of the kids in the neighborhood…"

Tau looked down at the file….Mathis was going to College in Colorado….this would be where Kaitlyn had developed the friendships….with the people she would later run off to, on her way to what would prove to be the final fatal visit with her Uncle.

Jimmy confirmed what little he could of Kaitlyn's story. It wasn't much, but it was enough to verify she was indeed telling the truth. Motive had been more than established. Kaitlyn herself went on to reveal how, after the first few days at her friend's home in Colorado, she had taken herself off her medication and began to plan out her next, at long last voluntary, visit with her Uncle. She discovered the family's weapons storage cabinet was often left unlocked. Knowing she could almost plan out the times her mother would call to check on her, she made sure she had enough cash for a few low rent but still secure motels along the way, places she would be 'home' at by the time the calls came in. She picked out a gun from the cabinet, the one she liked the best, was easily concealable, and that she was the best shot with, slipped it in her suitcase, and said her goodbyes with no one the wiser.

A few days later, 'Uncle Ray' would be found dead in the public garage.

With Tau in the interrogation room with Jimmy, and seeing that Jessica seemed, distracted, Buzz went on to check regarding the cell towers Kaitlyn's phone had pinged from. Everything checked out. Provenza checked the files and saw the confirmation from her friend's family in Colorado regarding the dates she had stayed with them.

Flynn turned and investigated something outside the case. Jessica had not seemed to move since Kaitlyn had first opened up about her abuse. Her eyes were opened, looking down at her paper, but she didn't seem to have written anything down in a long while.

"Hey Jess…." He called in a soft, inquisitive tone, lightly touching his hand to her shoulder….she showed no response.

"JESS!" he called out louder, forcing her chair back. The commotion startled the others in the room, as Provenza and Buzz both turned to watch the statue of a being that had been sitting next to them the entire time….

For some unknown reason, Jess was present, but not….she had gone fully catatonic….


	9. And Nothing but the Truth

C9 – And Nothing but the Truth

Lou traded places as he called Amy out of the room, stating they had a medical situation that needed her attention. Buzz called for an ambulance to be sent to the front of the building while Andy slowly and carefully wheeled Jess out of the room and toward the elevators.

In the Emergency Room, there was nothing physically wrong that could be found. They attached her to their monitors and gave her a mild sedative to see if that would bring her out. Sykes stayed at the nurses' station, processing the necessary paperwork as Flynn it seemed would not leave Walton's side for one moment.

About 20 minutes after the second dose of the sedative had been given, Jess' apparently frozen form began to relax. Her eyes closed. Unsure, Flynn called the attending who calmly confirmed the medication had taken effect, and she was simply falling asleep.

As the day went on, the team had been moving on with the case. Buzz checked in with Flynn on her progress who responded to him on both that and inquiries on what was going on. Part of him was concerned about 'appearances'….but after the rumors before, he could be damned if he cared if every last one of them knew the truth. He wasn't going anywhere till he knew she was ok.

Late that night, much to Flynn's relief, Jess finally began to stir, though she was still far from waking. He and Sykes had traded off some, at her insistence, but she could do little to keep the Lieutenant out of the room, even on her watch. Reviewing in her mind what she knew of the woman, her lack of reflection on her family, her distance from men, especially those she was not in at least partial control of, her few, short lived, romances….her tendency to have the hardest time with child abuse cases, not that she herself had been at all immune to them….and lastly, the unusual attachment she seemed to have to this case….

On a number of occasions, Buzz, Tau, or even the Captain herself would call her into the room to assist with the technical aspects or note taking. This time she simply rolled herself in. Amy even wondered if she would volunteer to be part of the interview. With all the cases on the docket, which she usually made sure she kept equal attention to, this one seemed to have a prominent place on the Administrator's desk every time she went by…

Was there something in her history they were unaware of….

Sykes nodded to Andy, who was getting more and more drowsy, but refused the hospital's offer of one of the staff cots so he could get some rest while they waited. She then slipped her way out of the room and to one of the waiting areas designated for cell phone use, something Andy hadn't bothered to concern himself with the entire night….

"Julio…I need you to check in on something for me….but don't mention it to anyone…"

In time, Sanchez got his responses. After discussing the situation with Amy, he then went to the Captain, who reached out to an associate of Fitz's from the FBI. A psychiatrist who, though male, would be unlikely to appear to Jess as the slightest threat to her wellbeing.

Dr. George Huang had worked for years with the NYC Special Victims Unit. Though they couldn't be 100% sure as of yet the cause of Jessica's distress was related to similar events in her life, circumstances more than pointed in that direction.

Andy, once made aware of Huang's history, and of the conclusions being drawn, was at first reticent about allowing the doctor access to Jessica. "Shouldn't we find a woman…I mean don't you think that would make her….more comfortable….more able to bring whatever it is….out…."

"Lieutenant, I understand your concerns, but I assure you, I have never had an issue with victims of either gender reaching out to me. She will feel no form of gender based or sexual aggression from me."

"Really. And how can you know that?" Flynn challenged.

"Well, for one thing….I'm gay." He stated plainly. The group remained quiet. Flynn wasn't quite sure what to say next. He stopped fighting, but insisted he or Sykes be available, or even attend the sessions. Huang held back at allowing their presence in the room, but consented to the two of them in a supervisory chamber, where they'd be able to hear and see what went on, without Jess having to immediately deal with their being there.

The sessions began in Jessica's hospital room. Huang wore a wire, similar to what was used in the interrogation rooms. Flynn was more than peeved he couldn't see what was going on, read her expression, but agreed she would likely be more comfortable in that setting than a proper therapy suite. He heard as the doctor offered to allow anyone of her choosing to join them, if it made her more comfortable. She turned him down, which was no real surprise to Flynn. Embarrassed as she may have been by this required psych eval, she was going to go through it alone, like the soldier she was.

He began with questions of her family, childhood, and school years. She was brief at some points, evasive at others. It was clear it was a period in her life she was not interested in going back to ever again. She spoke openly when he asked about her days in the military, almost bragging about times she took down soldiers and officers, some she claimed to be twice her size, when they got more than slightly inappropriate with her. Flynn thought back to his first physical encounter with her….she was apparently well practiced in that sort of thing.

When Huang came out after their third session, he had made his preliminary determinations.

"There is definitely something in her past. Something she doesn't want to remember. She may have completely blocked it out of her conscious mind, and whitewashed the pain with the decision to just ignore the near whole of her childhood. Her determination to always be in control throughout the course of her life can also be reflective of past trauma, remembered or diminished."

Flynn could not believe what he was hearing. The confidence, the self-assured presence Jess had always carried about her, no matter what the situation….could she really have been…Who could have done this to her?

"It could take months, perhaps years, to pull this out of her conscious mind with traditional therapy…I would like to recommend hypnosis. However guarded she appears, I believe she is equally curious to resolve the issue of whatever caused this incident."

The two had heard her fight the importance of her continuing the sessions, but couldn't deny her likely agreement to do whatever was needed to put an end to them. Huang had just put that in the most diplomatic way possible.

Sharon agreed her growing doubt at Walton's presumable fitness by her higher ups to continue with the team overshadowed by her concern over the woman's wellbeing.


	10. Not that Sleepy (in grat 4ur patience)

C10 – Not that sleepy….

"Come again?"

"He wants to try hypnosis….you know, try to get deeper into some of your repressed memories"

As originally willing as members of the team thought she'd be to start the treatment, Jess was more shocked by the thought they'd even consider her going through it…

"What am I, a Pythonian….help, help….I'm being repressed?" she mocked.

Flynn was at a loss. He knew pressing the issue would just encourage more resistance, but…catatonia….this wasn't something that happened because she fell out of a tree when she was 8! There was something much deeper, much more painful…but even after he, Amy, and even Tau had dug as deep as they could into her pre-military history, nothing of note came up….divorced parents, B+ student….community college for financial reasons….then the army…not much was a surprise there beyond what they already knew….at least nothing in the official reports….maybe he would get in touch with Brandt, see if there was anything more….unofficially….

He called Brandt, asking him to meet him at the station. Filling him in on what happened during the interview, it was obvious Jackson was highly concerned.

"We both know her," Andy concluded. "You perhaps you better than me in recent years….but I think it's fair to say this is nowhere in the realm of her 'normal behavior…."

"Absolutely not…" Jackson replied.

"I was just hoping maybe she opened to you about something from her past….something to give us a clue what may have triggered this…"

Jackson struggled, trying to come up with something, an action or behavior that might give them an inkling of what was going on with her….Finally, though a distant, clouded memory, he did come up with something.

"There was this one time….I think it was….no, couldn't have been Grenada…Anyway, we were storming through a battlefield, and we came upon what we thought enemy soldier who was on top of this young girl. Well, you would have thought the presumed victim was her kid sister…She ran up, through the fire fight, yanked him clear off of her, and pulled him back into a choke hold. She finally let go of him when the girl told her in her native language, he was protecting her…He was her brother and, though a former part of the fighting, he had come home to find both his parents were killed in the war, and his little sister was on her own. The uniform generally got him free passage wherever he needed to go. No one in the area knew he went AWOL. He had heard the gunfire, and knew she would be in the area. He jumped over her as a hail of bullets came over their heads…"

Andy, though interested in the story, was not catching on to why he was told this….

"She had seen the wild side of military personnel before, and even passed a few 'fraternizations' if you catch my meaning, but rarely a reaction at all from what I could tell…but she saw that, zero to 180 I tell you!"

The pieces were painfully falling into place…The answer Andy desperately wanted to deny was right the in front of him…They didn't know how when or why….but Jessica had somehow been molested in her early childhood.

He had to convince her to go for the treatment. This had been buried too long….if left alone now, especially with the cases that came through their office…it would destroy her

Back at Jessica's room the next morning, Andy did all the reading up he could on the process, even calling Dr. Huang to see what details he could get in regard to the particular methods he would be using. Something to make her more comfortable with the idea…

By the time he had finished relaying all the information he had gathered….Jess still was not convinced.

"And how, may I ask, did you come about all this information…..How did you get so smart….?"

"READING…" Andy responded, sounding a bit like a 70's public service message….

"Well, Lieutenant Dork….or should I say Professor Dork, I appreciate you going to all this trouble….but I don't need any shrink putting me to semi-sleep only to have me perform like an unconscious marionette for him…"

"Someone's been out to the Catskills a bit too often…."

"Not bad skiing out there…and with everyone heading to the higher elevations….the crowds are much less…Great area for cross country training too…" She added, trying anything she could to get the subject changed.

"Sounds great…maybe we can go together sometime….after we find out what it is that's causing these episodes…"

"There isn't a 'these' there was and "a"….that's all there was….that's all there will be…." She insisted.

"Jess….you're not fooling anyone….including yourself now…" he tried to settle her, but not letting up an inch. He could see in her eyes, she knew she had something there…she just didn't want to face it…"It's better to know and get it out of the way. If this had been caused by something physical" he caught the irony in his words seconds after they came out, but went on, "we wouldn't be having this conversation, you'd be going through whatever tests needed to find out what the cause was….we've already been down that road. This….event…wasn't caused by anything….medical….so we need to…."

"What….you think I'm mental….is that it?" she spat. Andy couldn't quite tell if she was angry or hurt.

"I think there's an issue that's stopping you from moving on….I think if you don't address it now…it will make you…sicker."

There was silence in the room. Andy finally pulled out the trump card he was hoping to hold back, so Jess would just make her decision to do it because it was simply the right thing.

"Sharon knows about the whole thing, even if she did feel differently than me, she wouldn't be able to get it passed her bosses. She'd have to either suspend you temporarily or even reassign you permanently…if she was able to keep you in the force at all."

Jess' breathing stopped. It was her insistence that she 'start' as a consultant….she had since found she really liked her job…the squad had become like family to her, just like Raydor said it would. She had to finally admit to herself….she in no way wanted to leave….Would Sharon really abandon her if she refused this cockamamie witchcraft?...She thought a bit harder. Andy was right…even Taylor would want no part of her if he found out she was 'defective'….well, more than was obvious….

"I'll give it a try….ONCE!" she finally surrendered.

"Two times….first round, just to get used to the procedure…then the second, you should be able to get somewhere actual." He pressed like it was part of what he read, which was nonsense. He just wanted to make sure she didn't stay stubbornly awake for round one and think she'd be done with it.

She wanted to fight….but she knew with this one, if she won the battle, she'd lose the war….but which war was she fighting…and why…even she couldn't answer that clearly…

"Fine…two then!" she relented, knowing that Andy would push for more when the two were done…she would just have to take that when it came. She was too tired to argue anymore today….even with him.

"Thank you." He responded, relieved. He bent over to give her a kiss. She pulled away…

"Andy…we agreed…"

"Darlin, I don't know about you but this looks nothing like the office to me…"

"But the others…they could walk in at…"

Andy just smiled. "At this stage of the game…do you think there's a single one of them that doesn't know…."

She chuckled a bit…ok, so it wasn't exactly detective work at this point, figuring out they were together…but still, there was one she really didn't want to know….perhaps ever…

"Taylor."

"Fine, Him we'll be careful of…but the rest…seriously…"

She gave him an incredulous look and shook her head at him. When he leaned in this time, she tucked down coyly….then tilted her chin up and return his gentle affection.

When they lips finally parted, he let his cheek rub softly against hers and whispered in her ear…."There's nothing to worry about….if you want, I will be in the room the entire time….and nothing that happens during or after will send me away…." Unless you want me gone, he finished to himself. The thought was too painful to bear, but if it was as bad as he thought it might be, he'd seen relationships shatter after less. If she needed space to become whole again, he would give it to her, but only as far as he absolutely had to be. If he needed her, he knew he'd never leave.

Originally, Huang wanted the first session in one of the doctor's offices in the psych ward, to avoid any distractions from the main floors, but Jess was having none of that. They finally drew a compromise, pulling the curtains to one of the smaller waiting rooms while Sanchez stood at the door to explain to anyone who tried to enter that there about the private therapy session going on. Some were confused, and a bit perturbed by the lack of availability, but no one made any considerable issue of it…

As all became quiet, the session began. Jess did ask that Flynn be present. Huang wasn't totally in agreement with that, but as the detective had been able to convince her, and she was the one directly making the request, he didn't see any reason to full on oppose.

"So….where's the watch…." Jess chimed in, as they were about to begin.."

"The what?" Huang responded patiently.

"You know, the pendulum like thing you're going to hypnotize me with" she growled sarcastically.

Huang merely smiled. "I don't go quite that old school…it's much simpler than that….More of a guided meditation…."

"Now we're in Yoga class…told you he was going to make me…."

"Jessica." Huang gently scolded, seeing her attempts at delaying him and finally putting an end to it. She, with a glance of guilt, finally stopped. "Now, I want you to lay back and close your eyes…"

As she laid back, Andy pulled up closer, gently stroking her hair back. Huang shook his head and Andy reluctantly pulled slowly back. He wasn't going to let him push him more than a foot or two away. If things went sideways for ANY reason, Andy was determined he was going to be there: Right by her side. Huang began to lead her through stages of physical relaxation, through her feet, ankles, calves, thighs…all the way up to her scalp and back down her arms….

"Now I want you to think of your favorite place in the world. A garden…lakeside….anywhere you've felt peaceful, serene….and safe."

All the places she remembered most had been high tension situations or outright warzones…there were a few patches here and there, where she had managed to pay enough aesthetic attention to her surroundings to start appreciating them. She remembered this one oasis she had been to, in the deserts of Iran. It was away from everything….just her and her team….the green lush trees, small rippling pond and the sandy ground, which she strangely found much cooler than it had been in any other part of the region. She decided this was a good a place as any to set as her hypnotic home base….

"If things get too uncomfortable for you, I want you to return here….whenever we do this, I want this to be the place you go to as we start and end. Do you understand…"

She nodded, though couldn't stop thinking….Ged, this was boooooooooo-rrrriiiiinnnnnnngggg!

"Ok, sitting in your safe place. I want you to think of someone from your past…."

Fine, Jess thought, able to pull up a mental picture of Jackson and Andy…she even smirked a bit as she pictured them fighting over her….

"Someone from your childhood…"

Dang, things were just getting good….ok, she let the two men slowly fade from her view….who was she going to pull up though….She didn't remember much of her father….her mother was….not someone she wanted to think about….her grandmother could belong in this ridiculous 'happy place' this quack pushed her to create…ok, her grandmother it was….

"It's probably been some time since you've seen your chosen companion….don't be shy…get close to them…reminisce over past times….share with them about what's been happening in your life since you last saw them…."

Gams passed on when I was fifteen, you dolt….I don't think we'll have that much time in the session…she groused to herself. Nonetheless, she allowed herself to follow through as directed; sharing some of the highlights of her career…the only thing she felt she had enough to share about….

"Now that there's been some time to catch up with your loved one, I want you to say farewell, just for a while….Let them remain in your sanctuary….and make your way to the passageway….a door if you prefer…"

A passageway….in an oasis….this guy didn't have much of a….

As hesitant as she was about the whole situation, her mind was apparently more cooperative….she began to visualize the trees slowly getting more full, the vegetation weaving in and around the trunks until everything seemed to bind together, creating a lush walkway that seemed to continue for a long ways….

She said good bye to her grandmother, then made her way over the grass and deeper into the mysterious woods that now engulfed her.

Traveling through the green, she heard his voice once again. Strangely, it seemed to sound more distant, almost ghostly.

"You're surrounded but secure….there's no danger in this passage…your safe….nothing will hurt you here anymore than it did when you were in the last beautiful place….Now…I want you to think of someone else from your past…your childhood….someone you weren't very fond of…."

Jess scowled, perturbed by the suggestion….she still didn't see much purpose to this…it had been fun up till now….but why did she have to do this….think of someone she didn't like….

It didn't take long for someone to come out from the brush…..it took a while for her to see him clearly….he was still a ways off….

Her brother? They hadn't had the best relationship….but she didn't think she hated him….

"This person's going to stay a bit further back…they can't hurt you…..the passageway is a place of safety….Think more about this person….what is it about them that bothered you….why are they here…."

She didn't have the foggiest….Ryan was a few years older, could be nice, but rarely bothered to be around her….he much preferred his friends and watching sports on tv than spending time with his little sister. His friends were over all the time….her dad was always working and mom went shopping…or so she claimed….all the time, so the lot of them generally had run of the house….She wanted to have her friends over too, but he was older so he was in charge….and the last thing he wanted was to have someone else he had to watch….or not watch…which was basically what he did, insisting she just stay in her room and not bother them….was this what bothered her…

Slowly, the passage transformed….she was back in her bedroom, Ryan standing by the door. He said nothing, but shook his finger at her sternly, and turning around, walked out the door….She was alone, with nothing to do….She turned to her bed and saw her old doll. She picked it up and started gently brushing back its hair with her hand. There was something about this doll…it didn't look like that the last time she saw it….what had happened…she couldn't remember….

Huang sat silently, letting her move along in her mind. She laid still at first….then she appeared disturbed…something was going on….she wasn't in pain, just nervous….they could be getting somewhere. Her arms began to tighten to her chest, as though she was protecting herself….then she started kicking out….struggling to be free of something…something that wouldn't let go.

Flynn had enough…he slid in closer to her. He tried to touch her shoulder to reassure her, but got slapped hard in the face for his trouble.

"Do something…Say something….will you!?" he demanded….

Huang kept the same calm, steady voice, reassuring her that no matter what she saw, she was still safe.

"The person who was with you in the peace is now entering the passageway….they are between you and this other person….you are safe….they are sending the other person away…the other person is leaving. Your loved one is now turning back to you. They are putting their arms around you and leading you back to the peaceful place….you are safe….you are not hurt….everything is ok…."

Slowly….Jess let her grandmother lead her back to the oasis….she could feel herself cry on her shoulder….After a short while, Huang relaxed her away from the vision, and brought her back to reality and the waiting room. Flynn looked down at her as she opened her eyes. He was smiling, but she could tell….something had worried him….

She now knew what that something was…..She pulled herself tight into his arms, and did what she hadn't allowed herself to do in decades…She began to cry her eyes out….after all this time…it was real once more…..


	11. So Help Me

CH 11 – So Help Me

Flynn wanted to not let her go, to carry her back to her room, but she insisted on going back to her chair. He wheeled her into her room, and then lifted her on to the bed. She still remembered everything, but she was not ready to talk….Flynn longed to know what it was that had caused her so much grief…..he wanted her to get it all out….but being she had agreed to do this in the first place, he couldn't bear to push her any further. She'd share what she remembered….when she was ready…

Huang reported back to the Captain on the progress, no details, in keeping with doctor/patient confidentiality, but merely advising that progress had been made, and the explanation would more than likely be forth coming in a few days….

In their next session, she asked that Flynn remain outside….She wasn't ready for him to hear what she had been through. Once the door was closed and the doctor had taken his seat to her corner, she began to open up about her 'other world'….the oasis….her grandmother….her brother….and the other person at the end….the person that had…

"Shortly after my brother left and I remained to play with my dolls, I heard the door open again…It was Harris Lancaster, one of Ryan's friends. I could hear a bunch of boys downstairs making an absolute racket. Harry looked as though he'd been bored. That expression quickly changed as he looked at me…I didn't like it….not at all…" She hesitated for a moment. George leaned in, gently placing his hand on her arm reassuringly. Slowly, she went on.

"He seemed nice at first. He started looking over my doll collection. Nothing was said, but he seemed to be complimenting them….the dress on one, the hair of the other….he even looked up the skirt of a third. I started to laugh….he was being so silly…After all, no boy plays with dolls…."

Her breathing grew labored, but she pressed forward. "Then….he came closer to me…he ran his fingers through my hair…then down around my chin and around the neckline of my dress…." She swallowed hard. "He seemed to like what he was seeing with me too….As his finger went lower, over my chest, I began to realize what he was planning next. I jumped back, ran to where I thought I'd be out of his reach. It didn't work. He came straight for me. He pinned me against my coloring desk, pressed his face right into mine, then knocked me back on top of it…and he….he….he…."

It took her a while, but she began to describe in detail the horrors that happened that day…the molestation she had suffered at the hands of her brother's friend.

"I cried….I begged him to stop…he only told me to be quiet or he'd hurt me worse. Ryan had warned me, when I was mad or lonely and had my Nursery Rhyme music on too loud he'd come up and break my record player if I didn't cut it out….He was right downstairs….He was supposed to take care of me….but all he cared about were his friends and his games….I threatened Ryan. I told him I was going to tell my parents….He just laughed at me. He told me nobody cared about me….my mother was always gone and my father…my father always cheered him on at the games…He said that my father loved him more than he loved me! And Ryan….well, it was plain to see he didn't care…..then he reached out and grabbed my doll….my favorite doll….and ripped her head off….then her arms…then legs…He told me that was what was going to happen to his 'little doll' if I told anyone…that I was just a toy he found to play with….and toys don't talk."

She cried some more, part glad Andy wasn't there to see, part missing his arms around her.

Slowly, through the pain a soft epiphany covered her face.

"What are you thinking about?" Huang invited, seeing the gentle change in her demeanor.

"My grandmother….the one I told you about from the oasis….you weren't too far off when you sent her into the passageway to save me….she did save me. She could see something in me….a change…the next few times I visited….sometimes, it was the day after Harris….visited….again….I wouldn't tell her…I couldn't…but she knew something was wrong….she knew my home situation was…not good…so she talked to my mother and father and convinced them to let me stay with her during the day and after school….when I started to go…"

When she started to go….Huang thought to himself….This must have happened very early….

"Well, in time I was virtually living there. My father was always working late, or at one of my brother's games….and my mother never wanted to drive that far to pick me up. I didn't find out until later, but when my parents finally divorced, Gams went to court to become my legal guardian….I stayed with her until…until…."

"She passed away….."

"Fifteen…I was fifteen when she died." She confessed. "Then, I went back to my mother….Ryan went with my father when they split…I was back in the same town, but he and Harris had already graduated high school by the time I came back thank Ged! At that point, I had become a bit of a tom-boy…no more dresses and barrettes for me….I just wanted jeans and a sweatshirt….had to wear skirts to school…I hated it! I used to wear pedal pushers underneath. I used to want to rip off that stupid thing as soon as the last bell rang….but I didn't….I'd either disappear behind some bushes or go into a friend's bathroom."

"You didn't want to be seen…stripping…even with clothes on…."

Jess looked at the doctor, slowly nodding…."It just didn't feel right…."

"But pants did…"

"You better believe it! From there on in, I was all sports all the time. I wanted to do hockey and football, but 'girls don't do that' was what I kept hearing….I did field hockey, soccer, whatever would let me in. When the boys used to start off making fun of me, I'd challenge them to skill contests…even the few times I didn't win, I did more than well enough to impress them…soon I had some of them asking me to come to practice with them….some were serious…some were….well, put simply, it was never at their house…or mine….and always in a space clearly visible to other teams that were practicing or doing whatever."

"You learned how to protect yourself."

"And then some….some of the guys started making moves and I'd use my sports skills to out maneuver them. Even made a trade one guy, I'd help him with his baseball skills if he taught me the karate he was learning in the school…something else I wasn't allowed to do at the time. Sometimes he got…closer…than I was comfortable with, but something told me he wasn't going to do anything….He didn't tell me till we were Seniors…."

"Tell you?"

"I'm pretty sure it's called 'coming out' now….wasn't called anything then, because almost nobody did it….certainly not in high school."

Huang just smiled.

"My grades were ok, but not all that stellar…Mom pressed for college, saying it's what gams would have wanted…I wasn't interested, but I couldn't let my Gams down…so we compromised and I went to the local community school….That's when I discovered the ROTC. Went through a lot of bull, but they finally made an exception….from there, I was in the army…and the rest, as they say…is history…." She ended with a smile.

"Any….incidents…when you joined the corps."

"We…don't discuss that…with civilians….." she responded sullenly.

"We can here….nothing you say….leaves this office…." He reassured again.

"I….I'm not ready to go that far…I…can…remember….I just don't want to…not yet…." Her voice shuddered.

"That's fine….we can talk about it another day…."

"Doctor…."

"Yes…."

"Do you think we can do that hypnosis thing again…I don't want to revisit my….mother's house….but it was good to spend time with Gams…"

George smiled lightly…."I'll tell you what…in a few days, we'll do a session, just to visit your grandmother, and to learn a few relaxation techniques….you may need them to help you cope now that your past is coming back to you…after that, we'll do some more regressions, to see if you need to pull up anything else….does that sound fair…."

The doctor drove a hard bargain, she had to admit….but, as much as it hurt, she knew he was right….knowing her past was better than hiding it….

Now…she had to figure out her future….How could she put all the pieces together…?


	12. You can come home again

CH 12 – You can come home again…..

When Jess was finally discharged, the captain insisted she take some PTO time. Jessica tried to argue she didn't have any….she was still a consultant. Raydor refused her arguments, insisting she would take care of that with the department. Jess was sent home.

Knowing that, though she trusted them, she wouldn't be comfortable with the rest of the team 'visiting' her alone, Sykes and Flynn took turns staying with her during the daytime hours, Sykes showed up in the mornings for a couple hours before work, a delayed schedule thanks to the captain, and Flynn came by in the evenings, helping her to bed when she wanted it, sometimes spending the night on the sofa when he was too tired to drive home. Knowing these two were as stubborn as she was, she invited both of them to keep 'in case' clothes in her office, a converted hall closet, and whatever else they might need in her bathroom.

The few hours between their consistent visits, Jess spent in transport to from and in counseling sessions, first with Huang, then with a colleague he recommended. She allowed him to fill her in on their previous sessions, so she wouldn't be starting from scratch. It took some time for her to grow comfortable with the new therapist, but in time, she was able to start opening up again. The hypnotherapy sessions also continued. She missed her grandmother. She knew it wasn't 'real', but it was more than comforting to be able to see her again. Other times, especially when she knew Andy wasn't right outside the door, her presence in Jess' mind was a source of security as they went deeper and deeper into her resurfacing memories.

On days where she didn't have these appointments, she'd spend her time catching up on emails, surfing the net….visiting and receiving guests from the church. She and Flynn even wound up with a couple 'babysitting gigs' with the young girl who had directed her to her 'newly appointed space' in the sanctuary, even arranging a slumber party for the group's youngsters, helped out by a few of the parents as well. These visits, though sometimes a bit overwhelming themselves, made her feel needed in a way she had never been before…These kids didn't need her protection so much, like others had before. They needed her guidance…perhaps her watchful eye….and her love. They most certainly gave that back to her in bucketfuls! Neighbors from the building started coming by as well, asking if she needed any shopping done or dry cleaning handled. The overprotective Flynn was more than a bit wary of this group, especially the males, proceeding to do background checks on a number of them, including an apparently particularly suspicious 85 year old woman…who had lived in the building since she was a newlywed in her twenties!

As busy as her days were becoming with 'outside activities' as she called them, she was continuously pushing to come back to the office. Sharon still didn't feel she was ready for the full onslaught of the department, but agreed to Buzz's suggestion to 'secretly' give her secure access to a few folders in the department's drive from an office laptop he would allegedly sneak to her at home, when Amy and Andy weren't around. She would be able to quietly keep things organized and be informed on at least of the few of the cases coming in. He would give her access to selected cases. There wasn't much about what they worked on that wouldn't turn the stomach of even the strongest constitution, but he could avoid her seeing any that was or would more than likely turn into a sex crime. Though not told any of what the Captain had been privy to, he was fairly certain this was at least the realm in which her issues laid. What she wouldn't know was that Raydor and the rest of the team had agreed to and known about it the entire time.

Seeing the organizational comparisons between what she could see and what she couldn't, Tau, though more than glad for her having time away, almost couldn't wait for her return.

Days turned to weeks. Flynn, though always ready to listen, wouldn't push her for more information than she was ready to give, and never pressed for more physical contact than assisting her with any action she asked for, and the occasional gentle kiss on the forehead, cheek….or lips, when she initiated. Jess started to feel the want to tell him…the need to tell him….but she was still afraid. He was willing to see past her chair….could he see past her history….even if he could….could she…..?

"You've told me about some of the cases you've worked on, and that Lt. Flynn has been in this division for years longer than you." Her therapist asked when she brought the subject up during one of their sessions. She nodded her head. "And yet, you don't think he'd be able to handle hearing your story?"

"It's…different. The cases…they're painful….but their strangers…most will disappear from our lives after they are resolved….and then the next will come up…"

"And you're afraid the same will happen between you and him…that he'll resolve your case, and move on to the next…."

"Yes…no…I….I don't know." She stammered. She wasn't sure what exactly it was she was afraid of…she was scared he would just walk away…..but….she just couldn't think beyond that….

"You can't have a true relationship without the truth." She went on. "He's been there for you through your hospital stay. You say another officer told you he was the one who saw you and brought you there….Now he's been spending almost every evening with you. It doesn't seem to me he's afraid of whatever it is that's happened to you, but of what it's doing to you now…."

Jessica thought about it for a while…..he knew something terrible had gone on in her history, that was more than apparent now. But it was true, he had done nothing about it but be there for her. He had done everything he could for her, everything she allowed him to do….How could she hide from him now?

"I…I can't do it alone…"

"How about here….in one of our sessions…Would you feel more comfortable here?"

Jess thought about it….it was the simplest answer for one of the most difficult moments in her life.

"Yes…."

They made the arrangements…one more session on their own together, to prepare and plan what and how she would tell him. Then the following meeting, he would join in.

Flynn was almost as nervous as she was. He thought about asking Raydor, even Huang, for the information he was about to receive, so he would be able to get his initial reaction out of the way whatever it might be; anger, hurt, a need for revenge…That way, he would remain more calm and supportive when Jess told him. But he knew he couldn't do it that way. He had waited this long for her to tell him….it was her right to be the one he heard it from first.

The walked in the room and settled into the living room like setting. The tension was palpable. Jess had already taken a dose of her as-needed Valium….There was no time on earth that she would need it more than she did now. The therapist began with an explanation to Andy in regard to why Jess had asked him to come, nothing he didn't already know. She asked if he would still consent to being present for this.

"There is nothing more important to me right now than to hear what Jessica wants to tell me. I've waited a long time….I have a feeling she's waited even longer…Now, to be the one she wants to tell…I'm not going anywhere…."

This statement alone brought a dampness to her eyes that, though part of her still didn't want to show, she didn't try to hold back that hard either.

She opened with the recent history….the cases, both Markel and Mathis, and how hard they had been on her, though she couldn't consciously pinpoint why….How when the young girl had come out about her step-uncle's abuse, someone so close to her family betraying her at such a young age, something in her just broke. She went on about her sessions with Dr. Huang, and how he had brought her back to her first experience of abuse with Harris. About how her grandmother rescued her…and about how she grew up doing everything she could to make sure no one would ever be able to do anything to hurt her, or any one she cared about, anyone she could possibly protect, ever again.

Andy sat, listening to every word, nodding in understanding, at times clenching his far hand, in an effort to keep his composure so she wouldn't be afraid to come out with her full story. He couldn't….didn't want to believe anyone could do the things that had been done to her….but he had seen too much in the division not to know it couldn't be done. But to her….she was one of the lucky ones….not in what had been done, but to the extent of what she had done as a result of it. This very special victim had spent her life saving others, not as an officer and detective as he had, but in other ways, her ways, in action and example….and for so long, not even knowing the probable reason why….

"Andy….say something…." Jess pleaded, finally coming to where she could end her story, not totally able to gauge his reaction.

Andy sat quietly. He wanted to reach out and hold her, but he feared she might shrink back.

"I don't know what to say….I'm sorry….?" He attempted.

Jess looked down at her hands. It was more than he could manage…he was going to leave her…

"It's ok….you don't have to….st…"

She had misread him….she couldn't think…..This time nothing stopped the officer's instincts. He dropped to his knees, reached over and embraced her as tightly as he could…..

"I'm sorry I couldn't come up with words….Jess….nothing…..none of this could make me want to leave you…I told you that…"

This time, the moisture broke through the fragile dam that had held them back.

The therapist sat back as the couple took a few moments to recover. She then helped them to discuss what Jessica might find she was able to share about her past with the rest of the squad and how they might go about that. If it was the simple basics or the whole story, did she want to tell them one by one, in small groups, just part of the group or as a whole group….in the office or more private setting….did she want to tell them herself, or have Flynn explain some to them so she wouldn't have to go over the story herself, over and over again. They came up with a plan. At first Jess was skittish about telling Buzz and Tau…and even Provenza, but Flynn, a little bolder now, encouraged her to at least fill them in on the basics, assuring her that they would be nothing but supportive and think nothing less of her, perhaps more if it were possible, than they already did. They would also, most certainly, keep anything she shared confidential among themselves. He also filled her in more on Rusty's story, the young man she had often seen in their office who Sharon was apparently in the process of adopting. When she caught up on that…she was astounded. She would never have presumed such a quiet, yet confident child had been through such horrors. She was then determined the whole team, Rusty included, would know her story….perhaps not all at once….but with Andy's help….she was going to do it.

Slowly, they made arrangements to meet with each team member, each time with Flynn by her side, sometimes for silent support, and sometimes to help continue the story when she found herself unable to tell it herself. For Sykes, it was morning coffee when she arrived for her usual visits, now every other day. She met Provenza at a local luncheonette, with enough noise surrounding them that they would still be able to talk…but not be overheard. She made as special visit to the office to say hi to everyone at once, and to talk to Buzz Sanchez and Tau in the monitoring room, so she could be certain she wasn't being listened in on, or recorded. She even braced herself for a double header that day, talking to Rusty about it in the break room, feeling that now that nearly the whole department knew, it wasn't as necessary to keep it sooo private. He opened up to her in turn about his past, and they agreed to share more over time with each other, to help the two of them heal more…..

There was still one conversation she had held back on. The disciplined soldier in her told her it was wrong to share this information with her squad, and not her commander, but the questions of what might happen after she told Raydor made the thought of the conversation even harder to bear. She finally made an appointment to see her, requesting it be in a conference room outside the squad's purview. This time, Andy was not present as her second. This was not a conversation among her comrades. This was a report to her superior. She knew Sharon, as a friend, would be supportive, but her hands could be tied in regard to the future of her career in the department, and she did not want Andy pressed in the middle, fighting for her in a way that could be totally unwinnable.

Sharon listened intently. She had known the basics, but the details….from anyone else would be shocking, but from this woman she had found so strong, so unstoppable, it was….unfathomable. When Jessica explained her reasons for waiting for so long before coming forward to her in particular, Sharon did all she could to hold a quiet smile….That's when it started to dawn on Jess….

"You knew, didn't you…..about the computer….my access….."

The smile finally slipped by. She nodded.

"I'm responsible for every bit of information that comes through this office. Buzz would never try to put something like that out there without my knowledge."

"And I suppose the team didn't think their files were being updated by the Elves of Rivendell…."

"I highly doubt that…" she smiled finally. "Jessica, we deal with victims of every type in this office. Your…experience…makes you more empathetic….I still want you to take the time you need to come to terms with all this yourself, but when you're fully ready, I'll be the last person to allow you to be a victim of the system because you were a victim of that Ass#*!&!"

Jess closed her eyes, smiled, and sighed, more than relieved. She knew Sharon would be on her side emotionally, but to know she was with her professionally as well.

"Thank you…." Was all that she could bring herself to say.


	13. Revenge and Repentance

Sharon convinced her to stay on disability at least three weeks more, and then they would meet again, officially, to discuss her return to the office. In the meantime, she would continue to 'secretly' help out from home, as she chose to.

Her days continued in much the same as before. Other members of the team started to rotate with the morning visits, but the evenings were always Flynn, or sometimes Sykes on the few occasions he was called out on a case without her. But he was always the one she found in her living room come the early morning. When a neighbor told her he was redecorating his apartment as his girlfriend was moving in, she jumped at the chance to snatch up his futon sofa that swung down into a full size bed. It made the room a little tighter, and didn't quite match her décor, but she didn't care….She couldn't stand the thought of him spending night after night so uncomfortable, though he'd always argue he was fine. She couldn't exactly make it for him, as the one side was too far away to reach when it was spread out, but she'd make sure it was in the full and DOWN-right position before she slipped into bed herself. Part of her wanted to share her own bed with him, as she had more than considered so long ago. But she knew she wasn't ready for that….not yet. Even if he was a complete gentleman, as she knew he would be if she asked….she just couldn't do it yet, and he seemed to know that.

The sessions continued as well, sometimes with Andy, sometimes without. She even opened up to the therapist, knowing the LSW wouldn't be able to tell, especially since it was her medical coverage and not the department who was paying for her sessions, about Sharon's knowledge of her 'secret' access to the systems. Her therapist expressed some concern, but as she explained Buzz's 'safety precautions', it seemed to put her mind at least somewhat at ease.

Her true down time was spent on a variety of hobbies she had let slide when she was keeping herself too busy to breathe. Reading, some TV, and something she had dabbled in, but not really delved into very far….Social Media….she did some research as her therapist had directed, into cases like hers and how other victims had recovered. She joined a few cyber help groups, where people helped each other cope with recent and long past attacks and present issues with their assailants and just sometimes hearing current events that brought on emotions that were sometimes too hard to bear on their own. Jessica shared, scantly and with aliases, the cases that had turned her life around with such neck breaking speed. Many related similar stories they had heard on the news, and how they had been affected similarly. Again, Jessica started to feel that she was part of a tight knit group. It was a family the likes of which, outside the team, she had never felt like she was a true part of before. She was helping them, and they were helping her. Everyone cared for each other, and there was no judgment between them, save for the occasional fight over favorite TV shows, or something otherwise ridiculous!

She also started floating around general message boards, Readbook and Chatter. She found Jackson, and other military buddies she had lost touch with over the years, noting with amazement how different they looked out of uniform. She wasn't comfortable putting her own picture out, so she found a shot of a beautiful sunset she had been moved to take, on the outskirts of Dhahran, ages ago, and used that instead. She also found acquaintances she had known from school, and her grandmother's neighborhood….then she found someone she hadn't talked to in ages….her brother…..Ryan.

It was Ryan that sent her the connect request. When it hit her email…then her cell alert…she just stared at it….Should she link with him…would she speak to him….could she tell him what had happened to her all those years ago….what he allowed the boy he called his friend to do to her….

She responded to some of the others, allowing some, deleting others….but ignoring his for now….she'd talk to Flynn about this when he came home…..She cracked herself up at the thought, though it was more than true. Sykes' clothes slowly slipped away, as more and more of his suits started appearing in her office….and her own closet…..she looked up at them….He probably hadn't spent the night at his own place in over a month.

They had alternated between them making or ordering dinner. She was a bit surprised the first time she tasted his cooking….Ok, so the host of "Flame-On" he wasn't….but still, it was pretty good. Though it was technically his turn, she was bored, and wanted to do anything but spend more time on the net. They had already taken care of the week's groceries the night before. She looked over their supplies and decided what she was going to create for mess that night.

Flynn walked into the door to find a multi-candlelit dinner on the table….a twinge of the romantic, but just enough for him to know how much he meant to her, without leading him on to think things were going to change regarding the sleeping arrangements that night. He smiled lightly at the setting, then smirked at her as he turned his head. She merely shrugged, and rolled forward to her place at the table, setting the last of the platters in the middle to her right.

As they were finishing the meal, Jess shared her recent explorations on the computer. He was happy to hear about the help groups, knowing how much the live variety had helped him with his issues, but shared his distaste when she mentioned Readbook.

"I found…someone…..on it…."

"Who…." He responded, his tone changing quickly as he reflected the concern in her voice.

"…..Ryan…"

Flynn's lips stayed closed. He could read on her all the confusion, concern, anger, and other emotions she must have been going through since his name came across her screen.

"I don't know if I should…..I haven't spoken to him since…"she trailed on.

Andy thought to advise her, but even he wasn't sure…part of him wanted to punch this guy's lights out….but he was her family….he hadn't done anything directly….he still might not have any idea what had happened.

"Maybe you should talk to….you know….the therapist about this…."

"I need to start making decisions on my own, Andy….I just…."

He thought about it…this was her decision, but she wanted his input…it finally came clear.

"Ok, let's handle this like a case….put all the evidence in front of us…gut feelings too….then consider the possibilities on interviewing this….person of interest….to determine if he's a witness, suspect, or simply a bystander….then you can determine at that point whether or not you want to continue pursuing or leave it out for the cold case division….."

She looked at Andy with a dip of incredulity….this was ridiculous….but it wasn't. Everything he was saying, in a seriously weird way, made sense…..She needed to put in front of her all the pros and cons that would come from talking to Ryan. From there, if she decided to reconnect and open up to him about the past, she would be discern from his reaction how much, if anything, he had known about Harris' numerous attacks. The statute of limitations had long since expired on anything she could do about it legally, but at least she would have the final reality in front of her, and as Flynn said, decide if she wanted to continue contact after that, or drop him in her e-trash like some old junk mail.

She nodded her head. He excused himself for a moment to grab a pad from her desk, noticing for himself and smiling at the growing number of suits hanging just in front of him. He stepped back to his chair and they began to list together the good and bad things that could come from moving forward with contact. In the end, Jess determined that, though it would be difficult, it was better for her to get at least one conversation in with her brother, and finally close this chapter of her life even if nothing else came of it than to spend the rest of her life wondering what he knew.

She rolled to the desk, hit the button to bring her system out of sleep mode, pulled up the website, went to his request….and hit agree.

The next day, she went back to her computer to find a long private message from her brother. He told her everything about his life after leaving their home to live with their dad. He had been in and out of trouble in his later teen years, sent to boarding school by their father, who was no more involved in his upbringing after the divorce than he had been before. He had managed to straighten out, go to college, and move to Texas, where he was working in the financial division of an oil company. He was married, and had two children, ages 7 and 12. He had taken a look at what she had posted herself, and saw all the military folks she had made friends with and their conversations back and forth, and marveled at the life she must have had. He asked her dozens of questions about how her life had been and what she was doing now. He closed his incredibly long letter inquiring how they might come to see each other again and how much he was looking forward to her response.

Even after reading it, twice, Jess just stared at the letter, marveling at its detailed simplicity. School, college, job, wife and kids….his biggest problems in life seemed to be shoplifting and graffiti as a teen…not even a drug issue….though she confessed to herself, it was good to at least believe he had kept his nose clean, literally and figuratively, it was a wonder how relatively easy his life had been, as opposed to what her life had become….

She then felt a scolding coming, almost as from her grandmother herself….Her life hadn't been easy per se…but it was far from worthless. She had saved lives….won battles….taught adults….guided and been a role model for children…she was now helping to solve criminal cases…..It was true, she had had plenty of losses along the way, but things were going pretty good for her now. There was a man in her present life who was adamant about never leaving her side, barring and perhaps even including a natural disaster! She was never really the spouse and kids type to begin with….but her life, though extremely different, was just as fulfilling.

Now there was the problem of what to fill him in on….in general at least….She started a letter in a word processing document so she could make adjustments more easily as they came…she started with college…Ged those years were boring…though, part of her wondered if her mind was just hiding things about being there too…Then her time in the military academy….then as an instructor, getting the recruits to respect her as one of the few female officers there. Then she started to tell him about when she was finally deployed overseas, careful to leave out any information or locations that might still be deemed as classified. Her short term in the private sector, though leaving out her first, introduction, to Andy…and her present life in the Major Crimes unit….She decided to leave out for now the part that she was left in a chair after the accident…..Maybe….just maybe….by the time they did meet, she would be out of it. Then at least that part of her life wouldn't matter anymore.

She finished this letter with her own questions and request for pictures, admitting she hadn't yet, but would soon look over his part of the site as well. She decided to leave out the real questions she wanted to ask….about Harris and what he knew….Start with small talk for now….catch up….then when he least expects it…..Ok, she rethought…maybe she was taking Flynn's metaphor a little too far….Still, it was better not to hit him right away with the past. Let him get to know her first, if just a little. If he cares for her at all, when she asks him what happened, he'll be more likely to give her a true and honest answer. That, most of all, was what she wanted.

She hit send….the letter went off…..

As promised, she did move on to look over his webpage, finding pictures of their father, whom she had heard had passed away just a couple years ago, while she had been deployed to Afghanistan. She saw his wife, the two little ones; the boy the spitting image of the wife, while the girl was the spitting image of him, a strange but beautiful circumstance.

She found on his friends list names and faces she hadn't seen in years, some relatives, a few friends, mostly of his…and one name….one name she was in no way ready to deal with yet….

And a face….that haunted her…

When Andy came home, he found Jessica sprawled out on the sofa in a manner that would have been extremely uncomfortable to anyone with sensation below the waist. He had been advised by her doctors in the hospital to watch out for this, as it could cause circulatory issues she would not be aware of. It was a matter she herself was generally more conscious of, but he could tell by her blank expression as she stared at the television, her legs were the last thing on her mind.

"And how was your day dear….." it wasn't hard to measure the note of sarcasm in her voice.

"Fine….what's for dinner?" He played along, hoping his mildly chauvinistic taunt would bring her out of her of the oblivion she was still steeped in.

No reaction. He thought of making the call for Thai now, knowing it was her favorite temptation, but it would have to wait. Whatever was bothering her had to be front and center. And he had more than an idea what it had stemmed from at least….

"Did you talk to your brother?" he asked, sitting in the chair next to her. The last time he had tried to sit on the futon, it pulled out from under him, landing him flat on his back as his knees smacked into the coffee table….He thought the sight of that might crack her up again, but he wanted to try the direct approach first…besides, his shins were still smarting from the last time.

She nodded…her only response. He just stared this time, not letting silence be her only answer.

She finally caught him up on the day's events. The letter from her brother and hers back….looking over his information…and all she had found there….

"He's going to find me….you know he'll find me….Maybe I should just disconnect now…" there was more than a little fear in her voice as she contemplated the possibilities she had been avoiding that entire afternoon. The team had wondered why there had been no 'mysterious' changes in their files that day. No doubt he now had the answer.

"Easy girl….you've been careful…you know you have…..There's no information you've made public, even to your connections. You signed up claiming to be from Jersey, with a junk email and the burner cell number I got for you from a friend in Wisconsin….even if he tries to track you….he can't. There's nothing that will bring him here. Hell, your brother will be lost if he tries to find you.

She thought about it a moment. No, she didn't tell him about California…she did say Major Crimes, but didn't tell him what city…He knew where she had been, but was clueless as to where she was now, and no connection that knew her, though they might let her know he was asking, would tell someone they didn't where she was, no matter who they claimed to be….she was smarter than even she thought.

"You're right…it's just the sight of his name…his picture…."

"Freaked you out, I totally get it….but it's ok…it's going to be ok….We'll get to that point in time…when you're ready…If you want me to, I'll look in and block any inquires he makes to you before I leave in the morning, that's if he even dares to bother." Andy thought about it….Legally, there was no investigation he could do, but perhaps he could open his own account and look in on this guy….First to make sure wherever he was living was far enough away to keep Jessica safe, then see if he had some friends in the area who could make his present life a living hell….

"Put it away, Flynn….I can tell you're plotting something…." She snarled, half in play. She more than appreciated his recent protective streak and his desires to avenge the wrongs that had been done to her….but she had to make sure that hot temper of his didn't get him into trouble…From the stories she had been told by other members of the team, he had gotten himself involved in enough hair brained schemes to knock a lesser detective down to traffic cop….Permanently! For him to get involved in something like this, even and or especially off the books, would be ten times more hazardous for his career.

"Who…moi?" he answered. She didn't even respond…."Thai….?"

"Hell Yeah!" She smiled. Not even getting up, he pulled the cell from his pocket and dialed the order in.

Next morning, he replayed his offer, but she turned him down, deciding instead to make a silent request for something more out of the ordinary of late.

She rolled her way to the sofa, slid herself on, and motioned him to sit next to her. He did as bidden. She wrapped her arms around him, shyly smiling. "You know I'm not ready to really….I'm not sure what to call it"

"Make out" he cracked up slightly.

"That'll work….." she smiled. "And besides, you have to be on to the office soon anyway…I just thought instead we might….." her voice trailed off. Andy more than got the hint. He wrapped his arms around softly and drew her in. She moved her hand around his waist and laid her head on his chest. Part of her was afraid to wrinkle his professionally pressed suit, but mostly, she was just glad to have the warmth of his embrace, especially during this time, when she wasn't sure what next steps to take, when she doubted her ability to protect herself from her own emotions, when she found it so hard to be touched, by anyone. She hoped….prayed….that feeling her this close made him feel something deep inside as well….

It did.

After a few far too short minutes, he regretfully was on his way. The day started up for Jess much as it usually did. Amy had a dental appointment, which was part of what gave Jess the nerve to ask for their moment of closeness, knowing whatever stage it might have progressed to wouldn't be cut short by the entrance of a however much trusted colleague. Jackie from the church would be along any time to take her to her appointment with Patricia then bring her back after they had lunch together. That woman was impossibly jovial. Able to crack the most hysterical joke at smallest detail of anything she saw. Her sense of humor was a little dusty….to sometimes the palest blue…..but she was never insulting or degrading….Being around her was almost painful joy.

She came back home, said her good byes to Jackie, who still had her in hysterics to the very second she closed the door behind her.

She looked over her room….what to do….Dottie had brought up her laundry leaving it on the futon ready to be folded as Jess had asked. Jess could take care of the electrical system for the whole building better than she could handle her own laundry….so the landlady made her a trade-off, with one caveat- Jess didn't change light bulbs and Dottie didn't fold or put away.

Once the clothing was taken care of, and one or two surprises pulled out that weren't hers, or Andy's, she moved on to figuring out what was next. She knew the best bet was the computer….she had missed much of the day 'at work', vegging out after finding Harris' name on Ryan's page…..there would be a lot to catch up on there….but just looking at that machine seemed to make her skin crawl now…as though his face had polluted it….She clenched her teeth. This was ridiculous, she had to stop….When Bin Laden attacked the country, she was ready to fight and destroy him and all his like-mindless faction! She would be dammed if she was going to let this Piss-ant destroy her! She had work to do….and his face or not….she was going to do it….and she knew just how….

She first turned on her personal computer, pulled up some of the photos…then, choosing one, put it into a document creator, added a black frame, and printed it out, and taped it to one of the shelves standing just below the clothes…Now, if that Ged awful face haunted her again, she'd stare right into Andy's smiling eyes….if that didn't work enough, she could reach out for the sleeve of his jacket. She'd have some awkward explaining to do for her absurd prescription when Andy got home…but in the end, he'd probably enjoy it. She'd get a real picture framed later…it was something she wasn't used to. She had paintings and photographs hanging around the house….but not of any people…well that she knew at least…this….this was different…

Looking at her PC, she thought about looking up Ryan's page again, to see if he had written anything back. But she knew once that journey recommenced, there would be a long road ahead, and she'd likely never get back to squad business….Maybe it was a reason, maybe it was an excuse….but either way, her mind was made up….Duty called, and she was going to pick up the phone.

About four hours, two mangled reports from Provenza, and 6 mislabeled documents from Sanchez later, Jess was ready to stop, if not for the day….for a decent break….she was supposed to be off duty anyway….this was just Pre-catch up work.

After setting herself up with a sandwich, sweet tea, and small salad, she started looking over her pc again….One light touch and it arose from its slumber. She trotted around Chatter and found Rusty had recently linked up with her. She did the same and found him yapping it up with a couple gir…gu…..individuals, she wasn't sure who….part of her wanted to warn his new 'mom'….but he was a college student…one who, like herself, had had a considerably rough start….if he could handle the mean streets, he could handle cyber-ville….and if he got in any trouble….he knew where to find her.

That's when she realized the time….shouldn't he be focusing on whatever class he was in about now….

After she had stalked the boy long enough, she moved on to others….offering an emoticon salute to one of her former commanding officers, and 'pinching' every one of her former comrades who she found had done the same to her over the past evening…..She wondered if there was such a thing as an inter-bruise, because if so, hers must be e-swelling by now.

Ryan had written her after all, with more details on his seemingly stereotypical life. He talked again about her coming down for a visit….how they could go hiking, running cross-country and swimming like they used to….She wasn't sure if it was his faulty memory, or ignorance of her circumstance that offered the greater irony….They had never done those things together…and now, it was a near impossibility.

She started a reply in her white paper program. She thought about putting some electronic stationary behind it, but she wasn't sure if it would hold to the message on his end…She responded politely to all the stories he shared. They were a bit sappy and saccharine for her taste, but she couldn't deny she enjoyed them. She didn't want to talk about work, though she did think of telling him an anecdote or two about some of the goings on in the department….non-case related of course. With the pleasantries exchanged, she decided to start with some of the darker truths….She thought about starting with the chair, as he had opened with the sporting weekend….but rationalized if she gave him that bit of info, it could wind up in the wrong hands. She was far from as helpless as she was back then, but if Andy or someone else wasn't there, it wouldn't have taken….no…..she wasn't going to go there.

How to start….Da! it, how to start. She should be talking to him about this over the phone….if not in person….but she didn't want to meet him anywhere till she knew where he stood….and she wasn't sure she would be able to hold her composure verbally. It was hard enough telling those who had nothing to do with it….A physical letter might be more appropriate and offer a reduced chance of having her story spread, but that would take too long to get to him. Electronic had to be the way….though she opted to use her junk account and edress he had given her, instead of the system's private messaging.

She started with some gentle truths….teasing and telling him she wondered what 'other' sister he had done all those outdoors things with, because it wasn't her. She then went on to how he locked her in the tower of her room like Rapunzel…Slowly, her fairy tale became more and more serious as she got more and more real and direct about their history….about her imprisonment by him….and about…Harris, the not so charming 'prince' who had stolen his way into her chamber…..and other things.

Then, it started coming out stronger and stronger…faster and faster…Writing the letter became a wakeful hypnosis….she was reseeing…resensing every detail…but not reliving, as she knew she was still safely in her apartment….maybe it was seeing Andy's sleeve in the corner of her eye that kept her calm. Whatever it was…she was ok….and kept writing.

When she finished, the email was near to five pages. Everything was there…at least everything she was ready to remember. She even felt ready to lay it all on the line, ending it with the questions she knew needed answers….was he completely clueless to where his friends were going and what they were doing in the house, or did he just not care what might happen, what was happening to her in the room upstairs.

She read it again…making adjustments in her writing where her fingers out-sped her mind, and before she could second guess herself about it being too soon, she copy pasted it into her email, entered his address….and hit send.

Looking back to her work computer….she thought about going in again, to put the finishing touches on Tau's court presentation, an alleged murder-suicide where forensics concluded there had been a third party actually holding the gun, but she held off….she dealt with enough bad news today….TV was dead in the daytime, but maybe she could Lulu a movie or something, then in a couple hours, try to bring herself to be productive again.

A couple of Classics later, she did stick her head back down the LAPD rabbit hole and ran through a couple more items that needed tending too. She also continued her game of hide and seek with Buzz and a personal document, apparently his shopping list, he had left on the shared drive. She had found it once, accidentally, but when she realized it wasn't business related, nor really 'desperately' important….she decided to have some fun. She'd put it in various folders….give it ridiculous file names….even add female personal items on the list….When Andy came home one day with a quizzical look on his face and a package of tampons in his hand he said were from Watson…..Jess nearly fell out of her chair!

Done for the day, and knowing it would be dinner soon….The schedule said it was her turn, but they'd traded off so much the past couple….heck with it, she'd just wait for him to show up and they'd figure it out from there.

As she closed up both her systems, she heard the muffled sound like the horn of an old competition orange southern race car….it was her Readbook cell….but who was calling her.

It was Ryan….he must have read her email….he was calling her back….She wanted to answer but…..Oh, why wasn't Andy home yet…..

She just stared at it as it lay in her hand….ringing for the sixth time….tentatively, she hit the green button….then opted for speaker…

"He…..hello…." she mewed.

"Jess…Jessica…is that you? What ha…I read your email and….I….."

Jess wanted to cry….but she wouldn't….she couldn't….not now…..

As the stillness between the siblings continued, the door rattled and the lock turned. Andy was about to announce his presence when he saw Jess hold her hand up, eyes dampened, with that phone on her lap.

"Jess….I never knew….I swear to you….I never knew…." Ryan pleaded on the other side, seemingly wanting to cry himself.

Andy heard his words, but they did nothing to dissuade his anger. How this coward could let someone he called a friend do what he did to his baby sister!? Then try to show himself blameless?

"You never came up once….Once he knew where to find me….what…that you…..and the things he said…."

"Jessica….I don't know what to say….I know I was crap for a brother….I didn't know I was this bad….No wonder you didn't go to dad's funeral…."

"It wasn't ….well, maybe part of it was….but I was out of town….WAY….out of town…."

"On….assignment?" he inquired, not wanting to push too hard…..

"Essentially, yes….Was probably for the best anyway….Did….he….show up….Har…" she couldn't even manage his full name to cross her lips…in referencing anyone else of that name, it was as though a wasp had stung one lip and a hornet the other….but for it to be truly his…..

"Yes….yes I believe he was…." Ryan reticently recalled. "What I would have done right there and then had I known…."

"But you didn't….and nothing we do now will change what happened then…." She wasn't sure what to say next….she wanted to ask where he was…where he was living…to know for certain he was a safe distance away, as she had always made herself believe….but part of her wanted no part of knowing his location.

"Jess….can I…can I come see you…..just me…..We should talk about this together….you said you're seeing a therapist…that's really good….If it would be ok…I'd like to go with you to a session, if it will make you feel more comfortable…."

Jess wasn't sure what to say….She wasn't expecting to speak with him so soon…..now he wanted to fly in to….he didn't even know where….to meet her face to face….after so many years….

"I….I have to think about it….alot's been going on the past few weeks…I don't know that I'm ready to…to take that step yet…."

"I understand….but if….when you are ready….I'm here….I want to make it up to you Jess…I don't know that I ever can….but I want to make it up to you…."

"I…I understand….I have to go….I…" she almost said had to make dinner, but she wasn't even sure she wanted him to know she was on the west coast. "I have to go…."

"I understand….can I….call again…"

"Let's stick to email and internet for now…I'll call you when….when I can talk more…." He conceded, they said their painful goodbyes, and hung up.

Flynn just stood there, silently to her corner. The phone was now back in her hand….she was part caressing, part crushing it…

She threw it carelessly on a leather notebook on the coffee table and spun to a roll so quickly in his direction, she nearly ran him over. He stepped aside to let her by, but hearing her break down…..he followed her to the bedroom. She sat on her chair, lacking even the strength of will to bring her to her bed….Slowly he approached, lifted her to her bed, and laid down beside her.

Well pressed or not, his suit might well have been a dish rag as she pulled him in with what little strength she had left…and cried her eyes out….

Andy just quietly held her….cooing soft words to soothe her…..no promises….no platitudes…just words of gentle support as he lay back with her, himself exhausted from the day that had been…

There were only a handful of developing cases that week. Things were always busy at the station, but they weren't blow your mind crazy that week. Grabbing a second between a discussion with Tau and the next phone call he was expecting, Andy stepped into the office of one of the newest members of the LAPD.

"Hey….Fritz….can I talk to you a minute…?"

The new chief encouraged him to come in. As the other man closed the door, he began to politely interrogate him on Jessica's progress and how things were going between the two of them.

"That's part of what I came to talk to you about….I know she didn't speak with you on the details surrounding her….medical leave…Without going into too much detail…I can tell you that certain parts of her past have…come back to haunt her…."

Even with Flynn's cryptic conversation, Howard didn't need the large print edition to read between the lines here…He knew all too well how the greatest of heroes could have a harrowing past.

"How can I help…."

"How much influence do you have in your old stompin grounds?" Flynn asked, explaining how he had gotten some information on Jess' attacker, but how any level of present day detail was just out of reach. "I was wondering if there were any 'quiet' means of getting more detailed information."

"You're not going to…." Fitz started.

"Not going to do anything crazy….I just…I just want to make sure he stays out of her life!"

Fitz was a little uncomfortable…he knew it wasn't like Flynn to ask for professional favors for personal reasons….this girl must really mean something to him….Her background was impressive enough….he could just imagine what dark backlash must be hidden beneath it….

"Well, first thing I'll tell you….if you want to find your standard rank and file US citizen….don't look in the FBI….I've got a better group for you…."

Flynn just looked curiously, waiting for him to continue.

"The IRS is what you want….I've got a few friends there I can ring up with the information you've found…The information I can get you may be redacted some….but you should be able to get some reassurance out of it."

"Sounds great…and if you can, tell those, 'friends' of yours, they can feel free to sign him up for a detailed audit if they want!"

Fitz just smiled, shook Andy's outstretched hand, and dropped back to his chair to dial a fishing buddy from his days in DC.

Flynn got a call back later that night. Fitz' friend had found Lancaster. He was living in Ohio after having served time in military prison and being dishonorably discharged from the Navy for assaulting a female officer while on-board ship in the Pacific. Flynn wondered if the officer was his subordinate or his superior, but it didn't matter. The scum apparently had changed little. He was now running a hunting and fishing store in the middle of nowhere, and was being investigated on charges of Mail fraud and internet pornography…..The friend had apparently taken Flynn up on his recommendation of an audit, saying it might stand to prove some of the other charges. Rationale didn't matter to the detective. This garbage had gotten his comeuppance once, and if he had anything to do with it…it would be coming around again…and again….and again….

He had wanted to share this news with Jess when he walked in. But as she had her own events to deal with, he held on to it for another day. Bottom line was, the jerk was hundreds of miles away from her, and there was no way he'd be able to make it to her doorstep, never mind trap her in her room, again….Come to think of it, with any luck, he'd shortly be more occupied keeping others out of his cell in a Federal Prison somewhere back east than concerning himself with visiting a former victim.

Victim. The word still chilled the seasoned lieutenant when he used it to describe Jess….all the years he'd known her…even when they were sparing and once in a blue he actually would get the upper hand, victim, subject, target, were not words he ever thought he'd find himself using to describe her in any situation. And yet, it was the very situation she was in….


	14. Family Reunion

(A/N...sorry took me so long...still working on the chapter that was supposed to be before this...it's a tough one :S...did this as a sort of break)

Time passed, and Patricia and Captain Raydor finally allowed Jessica to return to work on a three quarter schedule….

"Does this mean I get to have Friday's off?" Jess taunted her superior, wanting more than anything to be back on a regular schedule, but more than willing to work things to her advantage if this was not found to be possible.

Sharon just shook her head.

"I tell you….this group got so excited to hear you were coming back, I thought I'd entered into a 5 year old's birthday party when I walked in this morning…." Provenza grumped lightheartedly.

"Oh…didn't I mention….DDA Rios is coming by with the cake later….she's so happy she won't have to try to read your chicken scratches anymore…" Sanchez entered.

"I don't know what you're talking about….I send her my reports on time…every time….and send hard copies of my notes along to back them up."

"Lieutenant….when you password protect a document, it helps to give your reader the password as well…" Buzz interrupted. "Your notes are the only thing she's been able to read…."

"When she's able to read them!" Sykes concluded as everyone laughed. Provenza just twitched his shoulders and walked away.

"I don't seek what the problem is…" Jessica added in a hushed tone…"His password is always the same….LUTHER1979….I don't know why…it's just what he uses…."

They all looked at each other quizzically. No one else put passwords on these particular reports, as the station computers were all locked from any non-identifiable external access, so knowing Lou's made no difference at all…save to maybe the ADA's.

The day rolled on, cases came in, detectives went out, and now that Jess had returned to her regular post, she could work out organizing the physical copies of the files into her new, finally arriving, 3 tier file cabinet, with 'built in' chair ramp so there would be now more concerns about attempting further wheelchair acrobatics. As glad as she was to see the new storage unit, she wanted to scream when she saw how things were laid out inside…Could these otherwise intelligent people not comprehend the concept of the alphabet?

In an otherwise empty office, Jess and Rusty spied each other…..Rusty could see Jess was getting frazzled and Jess could see Rusty was bored off his backside. She knew his routine enough to be aware he was supposed to be studying….but she also knew Sharon sometimes got him to do file work for some sort of "Community service" project or other he'd get involved in…..Even if he didn't have one pending at the moment, she could always fudge a date so it would count for him somewhere along the line….Besides, he might be the only one in the office besides herself with the apparent ability to Spell!

"Hey, Rusty," she called, sweetly as she could without sounding saccharine….

"Need some help over there…" he called back with a wry smile, not even looking up from the book he was allegedly reading.

"Wow….psychic as well as intelligent…." She teased.

His smile just grew wider. He closed the book and walked over…."Where do you want me to start?"

Just short of an hour passed….Jess was still careful what files she handed the young man to straighten out and put away. He had probably seen more than his fair share of what they worked on by simple osmosis, but nonetheless, there were some things that may not have been openly discussed or posted; things that were above his non-existent clearance level, that they were both probably better off having her or an actually commissioned member of the team handle.

Harsh as the contents of these files were to endure, they were able to slowly lighten the mood by trading jokes, teases, and sometimes poking friendly fun at some of the other members of the team. Jess seriously cracked up when Rusty did his Provenza impersonation, strutting like a peacock in front of the all-in-one in a graveled, squawky voice while telling her the story of when it had first arrived…..Both of them managed to just pull themselves together when Buzz walked in the room, giving them the cut sign to imply the one being imitated was on his way.

A few days later, the piles weren't quite as scrambled, but Rusty found himself just as bored…This time he went to Jess himself to see what he could help with, knowing the tasks she would offer were generally less irksome than the ones Sharon would assign him under similar circumstances.

"Don't you have a physics exam tomorrow?" Jess inquired.

"C'mon….I need a brain break….I'll study later….after dinner…."

"You know your mom's gonna kill me if she finds out I'm 'contributing to the delinquency' of her minor"

He was just about to correct her, saying that his mom never gave a damn about his grades, when he realized it wasn't the woman who gave birth to him, but the woman that delivered him that she was talking about.

"Sharon's…" he started, unable to finish….

"It's ok, Rusty…." Jess comforted. She knew the unusual arrangement that was in the process of being made had to weigh heavy on him. For all he'd been through, he was still the same sweet, loving kid he must have been even before all the tragedy. "I know you have….issues….with your bio-mom….You know I have my own issues with my bio….family…..But even now, being adopted is a good thing….you'll be around people who care about you…."

"Sharon's son's…."

"An idiot if he doesn't see the incredible opportunity he has having you in the family…Having someone who really cares about his mom with his mom, while he's near clear across the country. Besides, you told me he had changed his tune by the end of it…"

What a memory on this chick, Rusty thought….They had only been through a conversation on that weekend once, briefly. She was right. It had ended well, if still uncomfortably, and she remembered all of it.

"What about Jackson…..he did everything but tell me…"

"That Sharon adopting you was a bad idea?...What does Sharon feel about that…What was her reaction to Jackson's….actions?" She wanted to say 'ploys', but decided to take a slightly more diplomatic approach.

"She and Jackson are…" Jess could read the guilt building on his face. They were divorcing, and he felt he was the sole cause.

"Sharon is more than capable of making her own decisions….Pardon me for saying, but in the short time I've known her, they hardly seemed married….though one could certainly say they fight like a married couple. She may still have his name, and he's still in her life, somewhat, but I think you're more her family than he is…."

Rusty ran silent….

"Rusty, you have a fabulous future ahead of you, and while I think she may take a fairly hard line once in a while, I don't think Sharon's going to trap you into anything you truly don't want to do….including the adoption….But if you go forward with it, I don't see you losing out on anything…You'll be gaining. She's not stopping you from seeing your bio-mom now….I don't see that changing that in the future. So far as I can see, she's doing this because she doesn't want to lose you…and she doesn't want to see you get lost in the system….She wants to make sure you hold on to all the opportunities you have now….are able to….." Though her thoughts were there, words escaped her, save for being a bit cliché.

"Be all I can be…." Rusty responded with a light mock.

"Hey, not all of us were adopted by people you know….that's the second way you become an army brat!" she teased. He looked at her slightly quizzically. "…aside from being born into it….you get adopted….or you adopt it, never quite sure how that worked." She smiled.

He considered her words for a while….She had shared her story with him like he was one of the team. Her childhood had been different, but essentially just as bad as his own….He thought her telling him about her grandmother, but then going back unhappily to her mother when that ceased to be an option. The military was her way out of an unlivable life…..maybe she was right….maybe Sharon was his way to do the same. She had always been no less than a willing accomplice to that.

"I'm not going to tell you what to do, any more than Sharon will….but I'm gonna give it to you straight kid…She's not doing this out of pity, sympathy, or some ridiculous high and mighty act of altruism…She cares about you…I dare say, even loves you…She wants you in her life to stay….but she's not going to force your hand. Now you seem anything but a chicken, but you're not exactly the front line type to me either….In the world of adoption, I'd say stick to the path you have in front of you….maybe after a few years of college, with whatever studies you plan under your belt, especially in the sciences, you can go into the military then if you want…probably as an officer. But if you do, I promise you one thing….."

"What's that?"

"I will Totally Deny any foreknowledge of the concept….As far as dealing with Sharon on your decision there….You're on your own kiddo!" she growled, still smiling

Rusty just smirked, shaking his head….Military life had its advantages for a guy like him….there were a lot of things the cops around the precinct who had served told him about their time in it. Maybe one day it would be an option for him….but it would be a later option. Right now, he had to find out what he wanted to do…..he was still trying to figure out who he was….

Besides….he wasn't that fond of green to begin with…..


	15. Don't Go There

The day started normalizing, as normal as anything ever got in the squad room. Then a call came in on Lou's line. "Female….late fifties….struck…no nearly struck by a passing train…" Jess could hear him repeat the information he was given on the line as he wrote it on his pad while simultaneously signaling Flynn and Watson to grab their jackets. As standard, he went on with more details, but something made her all the more curious…. "A rail accident doesn't sound like a major crime to me…." "It is when it's the sister in law of a well-known, loved and respected…at least by some….member of the clergy…." Lou responded. "Who?" Flynn chimed in. "Reverend Williams…." Provenza grunted. Jess pondered for a while….then her eyebrows raised in alarm…."Andy….wait….I'm going with you….." This time it was Lou's turn to be confused…. "It's Jackie…." They gathered in the car in their usual fashion, Provenza graciously taking the back seat to make things easier with her getting in, but Jess insisted Andy just get her chair to the side of the car, then let her get out herself as he continued on to the crime scene. Technically, she shouldn't have been there in the first place. She couldn't be seen slowing them down. She was able to show the badge the Captain had provided her with on the off chance she ever had to be on location, so she got past the police tape without issue. A couple of officers lifted her chair across the tracks to the area where everyone was gathering. A mangled body was strewn across the rails….in three parts…. Jess was confused…Lou had said nearly struck….and this looked nothing like Jackie…. "She must have been one of the local….residents…." Flynn surmised. "…miscalculated the push and landed herself on the tracks instead…." The remains before them, from what little could be recognized, were of a woman….no…a girl…no more than 15 or 16….Jackie spent her days and nights in service to the church and the poor….Why would this girl want to hurt someone who was trying so hard to help her. "Where's….Jackie….?" "She's already at the hospital." Provenza explained. "Bumps and bruises, mainly…and a possible concussion from hitting her head….probably on that derail over there." He pointed to a rebar stick and blue sign protruding from a lump over the rail. "We should probably start questioning the citizens of this fine establishment…" Jess made plain from Lou's lips the distaste he had for such work. One of their own had nearly killed her friend…It didn't matter to her if she had to question every last one of them….she was going to find out why! After supervising interviews by Sanchez Sykes and Tau of over 80 self-proclaimed hobos and other transients, they began to put together a profile on who their present victim was….the girl they called Robin, a runaway from Arizona, had some apparent mental issues, but nothing any of them seemed to consider dangerous. Ms. Williams had been to the settlements often, bringing food, necessities, the occasional craft from some church's Sunday school, and occasionally, when she had gotten the agreement of the majority of the settlement, volunteer medical personnel to give them check-ups and sometimes vaccinations against whatever outbreak seemed to be on its way. Some were slightly bothered by the 'outsider's presence, but none of them offered more than a short lived rant on the intrusion. It seemed doubtful anyone would have raised a hand against her….especially the 16 year old loner. When all the possible information was gathered, and the last of the crime scene photos taken, Jess caught a ride with Buzz back to the station, leaving the partners to question Ms. Williams themselves. Jess wanted to go see her, but getting too involved in the investigation could make things complicated. Besides, she wanted to process some of what they had gathered in her own mind. She would ask Andy or one of the church members to take her to visit the other woman later that evening, when the information might be able to be made more public. Arriving at the hospital herself later that evening, Jess found Jackie just as Provenza had mentioned, bruised and a bit achy from her fall, but beyond a visible contusion and confirmed moderate concussion, no serious damage. Jackie was just slightly down a bit in her verbal pace, but was otherwise her chipper happy self. She laughed with Jess over what she called the 'reversal of fortune' and how it would now be Jess' turn to visit her at home after she came back from the hospital…. "Yeah…" Jessica teased…"And just wait till I'm behind the wheel of your car getting you to your doctors' appointments…." Jackie looked playfully pensive for a moment, but quickly switched to a mischievous grin as though she were contemplating the possibilities…. As the visit drew to a close and the ladies all said their farewells, Shana took her keys and followed Jess out of the room. "She is so…..Jackie….don't you think?" Jess laughed as the elevator doors closed in front of them. "Indeed…." Shana smiled. "You'd never think….." Jess just sat, waiting for the end of the sentence as Shana stood silent…. "Sha….I'm a newbie, remember…..what are you talking about…." She inquired at last. Shana proceeded to reveal as privately as possible a history Jess would never have dreamed would be Jackie's…Apparently dreadfully shy as a young child and teen, she was pressed by her Pastor father into service in the church soup kitchen when all she would do in the choir was stand silently. As much as she tried to keep her presence there as anonymous as possible, she was often still pointed at by the well- meaning volunteers, who wanted to show her as an example of a proper Christian woman doing service in her community. The attendees of the facility were usually nice….but a few scared her. She watched a couple times as one of the other volunteers responded to an especially ornery client with clever comebacks, which in the end even had the mark laughing. She didn't believe she could do that herself…but as she heard some of the other regulars spout off about this or that, she came up with some replies in her head. Laughing to herself at one, a coworker looked to her quizzically….she told her what she was laughing at, she smiled at first….then giggled….then nearly doubled over next to the celery she was chopping in full on laughter…. "Next time…just let it go…you'll put Billy's responses to shame!" she invited….. And that's where it all started….she'd throw in a couple lines, from a distance, when Billy was playfully matching wits with one of the visitors. When the attention turned to her, she'd turn to Jenny, the woman who had originally egged her on, who would nod in support, then come up with her next line. The room just roared with laughter….she was soon trading one-liners with not only the singular competitor, but the full room. Nerves would occasionally get the best of her, and she'd slide away mid-concert to the kitchen and Billy would graciously grab back the existential microphone, but overall she brought down the house…nearly nightly. No less, every once in a while, for no knowable reason….she'd just have downswings….Her father sent her away during some of these times….for a retreat or teen conference…but none of the other children in the congregation would ever be invited to these events, and the parents who found the explained subjects of interest, could never seem to find information on the trips she was taking for themselves. She'd come back in better spirits, but then, in a handful of months….would be going away again….. Years passed, she fell in love and married a man who adored her mix of quiet sensitivity and side-splitting humor, but when the realities of life with her darkest sorrows, combined with having a child, became too great, he walked away. Jackie moved back in with her parents, but found herself little able to or interested in caring for the infant herself. No amount of coaxing or demanding changed her attitude. Her constant sadness worsened, and no one in the medical field could rationalize it….no one gave it a name….The child, born sickly from the start, passed before his second birthday. No one it seemed could truly comprehend her mixed pairing of grief and relief…. Jessica sadly marveled….what would later be known as Clinical Depression and PPD made such a ruin of this wonderful woman's life….Knowing what little she did of the family history, she guessed it might have been Sickle Cell anemia that killed the child…just another knife to Jackie's wounded heart. With no family of her own again, she returned to her work in her father's church. When her parents retired and later passed away, she was invited by her sister and her husband, the youth pastor at the time of Jess and Shana's present church, to join them. She moved in to the in-law suite they had planned for their mother, and became a live in nanny to her niece and nephews, and an even more active member of her new pastor's church community. Her sister's family and the whole congregation were supportive of her, and attentive to what they would call 'her moments'….No outsider would have known anything was amiss…most of the time. She had refused medication since they were children, but her sister managed to convince her to try some herbal remedies. She agreed and took them fairly regularly….calling them her 'vitamins'…and they seemed to offer a modest amount of assistance. Jess processed all the things she was told….it didn't take long to put a more sensible picture together of what she believed had likely happened in the rail yard. She didn't relish the idea of wrenching her friend's private life out of the shadows, but the squad needed to find the truth….and Robin deserved it. Shana dropped her off at the front door of the building. Andy would already be upstairs waiting for her with…she was pretty sure he said Italian tonight, the easiest to keep warm for her. As they finished their meal, she filled him in on the information she had collected. He warned her against becoming too involved in a case she had personal interest in. "Andy…I'm not looking to arrest her…there might not be any foul play here…" Andy thought it over some more. "We can't just go with Shana's story on it…." "Never said we did….you need to interview Jane and the Robert anyway….they'll give you the truth….if you ask the right questions." She knew it wouldn't take long for the Pastor and his wife to figure out that, if not how, Andy knew. "They'd probably been trying to help her for years…now, if she was right, it was even more imperative than before that they succeed…"You may want to go with Sykes or Sanchez, Lou might be a bit….much…for them to take with this coming out….but once it does, I think you'll find them more than cooperative…." "And what about the day of…they may fight it if we don't have witnesses." Jess thought about it some more…..there was one man….an addict, seemingly in his late twenties…."Joey….I think it was….He was quiet….but I think….there's something he wasn't saying….I think he may have even seen it…." Her gut was screaming it, but she knew insisting on the unproven truth wasn't going to get her far with this. Andy stepped over for his pad and looked it over, finding his notes the displaced itinerant she was talking about. He had had a similar feeling about this one, but nothing that pointed to him knowing anything…Jess could be right….he might be the key…. "I'll talk to the Captain, I'll go with Amy in the morning to the Williams home, and see if Sanchez can get Joey to talk. I can't say I'm totally with this one….but it's an angle worth pursuing…." He agreed. The following morning, Andy proceeded as planned, claiming he had gotten some information from a "CI" and wanted to pursue the possible lead. Part of Jess wanted to spit out her coffee when she heard her new title, but she knew she needed to hold her tongue. When push came to shove, she could always claim it was Shana….she'd just need to get her and Andy in conversation directly, at least to agree to it, to avoid any possible concern of impropriety…. The Williams, at first stunned by Flynn's line of questioning, in time were more and more open with the history, Jackie's previous 'accidents', and more recent times she was quietly and voluntarily committed to mental hospitals and similar institutions for a week or so, always claiming she was going away on vacations….She would grab photos off the internet and get them professionally developed, so no one outside the family would be the wiser…Being known as essentially not tech-savvy enough to properly put together a 'selfie', no one questioned why she was never in any of her own shots. Joey, as broken by fate as he had been, was a tough nut to crack, but Julio slowly gained his trust, and what he knew of the truth. Just as everyone had said, Robin had no reason to hate or hurt Jackie, in fact, Joey said, she adored her. She had her own issues with depression, but her refusal to be medicated had gotten her kicked out of her parents' house, and most every facility she might have had a chance at staying at. When she'd refuse the meds the returning medics would press her to take, Jackie was always by her side warding them off. No one understood why till she started taking these walks along the track on her own, when the rest of the volunteer staff had left. No one at the settlement knew where or why she'd go. Gathering back at the squad room to pool their new found information, Jess heard all of it. But Jackie's history of mental illness and Joey's perspective on Robin's affections for her did not amount to concrete evidence. The squad needed something solid. Though starting to turn back on the upswing, Jess was certain Jackie wouldn't open up to the rest of the team about what had happened the night Robin was killed, not even Andy. She would have to insert herself into the investigation more directly. She would need to get the other woman's testimony… or her confession, herself. With Sharon's permission, Buzz and Tau set her up with a wire on her next visit to the hospital. They set the receivers up in a small conference room just outside the nurses' station. Jane and Robert, Jackie's temporary guardians while her mental stability was still under question, had given permission for the interview as long as they were present in the observation room and able to call it off at any time should they feel she was being put under too much stress. Jess prepped herself in an adjacent private room, far enough away from the ward Jackie was being held in so she would not know of her early arrival. Flynn helped her set up the wire, then shut it off for a moment to speak privately with her. "Are you sure you want to do this…it's not your typical suspect in there…." He warned. "Flynn, she's may not be a suspect at all. I just need to let her give us the truth….then we can work it out from there." She thought it over. There was a slight possibility that she was wrong. She didn't want to believe it, but it was possible. If that were the case, Jess was certain her family would get her a lawyer who would plead her out on an irrefutable insanity defense….there would be no jail time, she would no longer be a threat to others or herself, and she would finally get the help she truly needed at the level she truly needed it. Flynn, still concerned about how the results might affect their willful volunteer who was still dealing with her own personal ordeals, flipped the switch again and gave her a quick shoulder rub to relax her. Jess patted his hand, took a deep breath and headed for the door Provenza was holding open for her. Her visit started as normal, the two laughing and joking….talking about the adventures they'd have and the mischief they'd get into at the local bakery and sweet shop. Jackie told her about a wedding she was planning to attend in the upcoming weeks, and Jess shot back stories of going dress shopping with Shelia months ago. "Well, we'll just have to bring her with us then….add to the fun." "What, you don't have enough collaborators to get into trouble with already? What about all those folks in the rail yard….I'm sure they'd love for you to bring them a fashion show….." Jess knew she might be treading on thin ice here, but she had to slide the topic in somehow…. "I'm sure they would…Robin would have loved it most of all…." She added….reticently. Jess hesitated. Jackie had entered into the topic more openly than she expected. "Go ahead….ask what you're longing to….did I kill Robin…." Jackie answered sullenly, increasing Jessica's shock. She just sat silently. "The answer is yes…and no….I had taken another one of my walks down along the tracks, when I…..got tired. I decided to have a seat on one of the rails….then….my legs started to bother me…so I stretched them out to the other side….." Jess could read the fiction in the lines Jackie was reading, but inside this fairy tale, she knew was the truth…..but where would it lead. "As I sat….well….my butt started to hurt, so I just slid down till I was on one of those wooden crossbeam things…" "The ties…." "Yes, that's it…." She continued. "That's when Robin showed up. She started screaming like a banshee at me, pulling me first by the shoulders….then switching to the other side and yanking me at the legs. I pulled in trying to get her to stop. She was hurting me. I curled myself into a ball and wouldn't let her move me….Well that girl suddenly developed the strength of an ox! She pulled me upright and pushed me till I rolled over the rail…that's when I hit my head on this big lump in the rail." Jess had confirmed Provenza's suspicion. It was the derail. "It was dark. I almost started laughing at the ridiculousness of it all. Then out of nowhere I had bright lights in my eyes and I heard Robin shriek….I don't know anything after that….I think I blacked out…." Jess nodded empathetically. Whether it was from the head injury itself, or from some unconscious realization of what had just happened, Jackie's mind could handle processing the information, so she just shut down. "Do you know how Robin is doing? I haven't had anyone from the Hunger runs stop by to update me on the people at the settlements". Jess couldn't bear to tell her sad friend the truth….not when she was still in such a precarious state…. "I'm not sure….I'll have to check in on that…" was all she offered. They continued on with some happier conversation, Jess struggling all the way, till Flynn showed up to supposedly drive her home, cued by her secret tap on her cell phone. They said their goodbyes and Jess promised to come back and see her again. "Nonsense….I'll be heading home in a couple days…as soon as these crazy doctors stop worrying about how I need my head examined….nothing important up there anyway!" she laughed. Jess gently smiled back, squeezing her friend's hand. "Y-you just make sure to do everything they tell you….the more you follow their directions the….the better you'll feel…." She assured. "Then, whether here home or….where ever….I'll be sure to come visit you…." Jackie smiled back. Though she gave no obvious outward sign, Jess could somehow sense she understood deep down what she was trying to quietly say….It was time to stop running….time to do what she really needed to….before things got any worse. Flynn rolled her out backwards as she waved good bye….once out of the Critical Care Unit, she flipped the mic off on her own, and pulling the entire apparatus off of her before Lou had finished closing the door behind them. The next morning, after arriving ahead of the team, Flynn made for the coffee room to get them both their first morning cups while Jess went straight for her desk to prep for the day. He had heard the phone ring once, but was up to his knuckles in k-cups as no one had set up the carousel the night before. He made it to the room, two brews in hand, to find Jessica with one hand still tightly clasping the handset, the other covering her eyes as her full form trembled. Jane had called. Shana apparently visited after everyone else had left following the interview. When Jackie asked her about Robin, she apparently gave up the whole story about how the other woman had been killed by an on-coming train. Somehow, over the course of the evening, possibly during the shift change, Jackie had managed to somehow disconnect the part of her iv that controlled the level of medication that was delivered into her system. By the time the monitors registered her reduced heartbeat and respiration and the nurses discovered the cause, there was little that could be done to save her. She was pronounced dead at 3:49 AM. It had been two weeks since Jackie's funeral. To Jess' near surprise, the church still welcomed them, even after all that had happened. The pastor and his wife insisted there was no one to be blamed. Jackie's life was a joy to be a part of, her death, just as painful, but she would never want her church family estranged or their shared lives to end in any way because of her. Their unity was needed to help their healing….Seeing all of them was hard, but she and Andy knew they were right, and did everything they could to stay active in what functions they could attend… Though a short month ago, Jess couldn't wait till the day she rolled back into the squad room, she really was wishing she could get a day off….but the other side of her was afraid the Captain would be all too happy to take her up on that, so she held back on asking. Instead, she tried to find humor in whatever she could. They cases they would handle were far from funny….but the paperwork she would deal with from it….to quote an old TV show she once saw…."Laughing is the only thing to keep you from crying…." They all seemed to have a personalized set of record keeping flaws that she would tell them time and time again how to correct….and time and time again, they repeat them…..She sometimes wondered if she was working with a team of elite detectives, or teaching a bunch of middle school students in remedial English! But then she'd watch them in action…whether in serious debate over how a crime occurred, or ridiculous argument over which sports team a particular player had been with the longest….She beamed with amazement how this lot could press their point in either discussion with equal vehement….and she couldn't deny…she had found herself on occasion, appropriate or not, on one or the other end of these quarrels as well. She wondered if there was this much topical deliberation in Yeshivas. It didn't matter….no matter the temporary division, there was always a sense of unity in these ranks. Then, as was so often the case….the quite unexpected walked right in the door….At first it was just a yellow blur shuffling and waving around the corner of her eye…but as she turned to see what was happening, she witnessed Sanchez, then Tau…then Flynn…all trying to subdue….could that really be…yes…yes it was….a man in a banana suit! Jess drew her hand to her mouth as she saw Amy turning back toward her in her seat, striking the same pose. Whenever you thought you'd seen the most gruesome, most unusual, or most ridiculous thing ever….there was always something more waiting just around the corner….Especially when it came to this place. Jess' thoughts went back to Jackie again….This person had lived with such pain for so long….yet she lived and gave joy to so many around her…in so many ways….She had to have known that….She must have known how much her family supported her….maybe, besides more, physiological reasons, that was why she was afraid of moving forward with medication…fearing she would not be able to function in the same way she had for all those around her. And maybe Robin's death was too much proof that the alternate remedies alone weren't enough…If only she could have seen how it wouldn't have mattered if she slipped slightly off her game…how the greater importance was her being well…being there with them…longer…. Then, she felt a strange chill…a sort of tickle….and a sense of calm….just as she did when Andy had pulled her out of the room. They thought she was in a safe place. They didn't know what she was told nor could they be sure how she would have reacted when told…There was nothing she or Andy could have done to stop what she did…What was done was done….and could not be undone….Whatever her earthbound demons….all Jess could do now was hope…believe….Jackie had found peace…true happiness….and who knows…maybe now she was spending her time having coffee with and cracking up a few angels with her 'pale blue' humor…in the pale blue sky…. (In memorial of a certain….'crazy'….character, whom none of us will ever forget…..RIP sir…) 


	16. The Beginning

CH16 – The Beginning

Weeks had passed. Jess still thought about Jackie often, sometimes wanting to pick up the phone and call her up for a lunch date….that would never again happen. To avoid looking or feeling odd about picking up the phone and not dialing…and in no smaller portion, to avoid thinking about lunching alone, she'd call Shelia or one of her other friends…A change of company, but no doubt just as much mischief and not so classified secrets to be shared. Jackie would undeniably approve.

Besides making her more social, losing Jackie caused another change, or more a renewed commitment, in Jess. Arranging her hours with Sharon so as not to cause any down time for herself or the squad, she'd start her day extra early sometimes so she could leave around 4, while during others she'd turn these lunch 'dates' into extended lunches; ones with a secondary purpose.

Andy came home on Tuesday around 7:30. Neither he nor Jess had called each other about dinner as they irregularity of his schedule had more than become the norm. They had just grown used to it and made their way through. But when there was still no sign of her by 9:30, he began to get restless. Not wanting to alarm the others, he started with friendly calls to Sykes and Sanchez….

"Hey….think you can convince our dirty little stay out to make her way home now?"

"Ehhhh…." Julio squirmed. "She's not here, Andy….she rolled out around 4…4:30 I think…..haven't seen her since."

Another call. "No….Sorry Andy. We were supposed to do dinner today, but she canceled this morning. Said she had someone she….couldn't stand up….and the way she said it….was kind of strange..."

Someone she couldn't stand up….Jackson?

"Sorry buddy….no dice here….Pressed on her pretty hard to go out sometime this week…she just laughed and told me to step off…."

Andy kept a calm and even lighthearted façade, but on the inside, his gut was telling him something was off. It wasn't that she had to report to him on her whereabouts every second of the day…but for no one to seemingly have a clue where she was….it just wasn't like her.

Then his mind wandered where it never wanted to go. Ryan…..He knew well enough she'd never agree to contacting never mind meeting with Lancaster without him, or at least someone being involved….but Ryan, this was an unknown quantity. He knew she held him at least partly responsible for what had happened to her….but he was her brother….and it was years ago….and they hadn't seen each other…she was always determined to take care of herself. Had she taken it upon herself to…..

In the silence of his thoughts, Andy heard a key notch the door. Jess pushed the door open as Jane rolled her in.

"Where the hell have you been!" Flynn growled.

An impish grin crossed Jessica's lips. "Andrew….such language in front of the pastor's wife…really!" she chastised with mock disgust.

The whole scene building on the conversation that had preceded it had Jane right on the cusp of all out laughter. "Jess….I really think you should tell him…."

"No…." she protested. "He's a flatfoot…He should have been able to figure it out for himself…."

The latest line nearly threw her over the edge. "Listen Nancy Drew….I can't hold this in for much longer….tell him already…." She tittered.

Jess just shook her head. "Geez, a girl just can't have any fun around these parts! Fine!"

With that, she waived the other woman back with her hand, and locked the brakes of her chair. When Andy tried to take a step forward, she raised a single hand, halting him in place. He watched in stillness as she lifted her knees slightly, taking her feet off the plates, then bent down to twist them aside. When she pressed down on the armrests to elevate herself, he made another attempt to come for her. She rested her arms and stared him down. When he retreated, she began again, slowly coming up to a standing position. Andy did everything he could to remain completely sedate, but she could see the growing excitement in his eyes….Slowly her left foot skimmed the upper atmosphere of the carpet, then planted again about a half distance forward. Shortly after, her right foot began its own low and slow orbit, till it as well came down for a soft, firm landing. For each of the five that followed, Jess' arms held tight as though to some ethereal support beams to either side of her. As though to their credit, her balance never seemed to waiver.

Three steps and a few short, beautiful moments later, she was perhaps two or three feet from her original stance in front of her chair.

"Well….you gonna meet me half way or what?" she teased. Andy immediately sprang into action, grabbing her around the waist and spinning with her lifted in his arms. Putting her down at last, he nearly tripped over the coffee table himself.

"Way to go….twinkle-toes…." She taunted again.

"New feet?" Jane chimed in.

"No…that would be my excuse." Jess jibed back.

With all the banter relating to the lower human anatomy, Andy started to get the hints that had passed him by the entire evening….

"Ok….who knew….."

"Oh….pretty much everyone…." Jess finally confessed. "I knew I couldn't keep things from the squad. They'd all manage to find out if I had a bug bite on my butt no matter how I tried to keep it quiet! However, having the group of them keep a secret from You…That, I could manage." She beamed. "I arranged for time and transportation from a variety of sources…The only person you never seem suspicious of is me, so it was easy enough making excuses to slide away. I got back on schedule with my PT and even put in some extra time where I could. Jane's been a saint about driving me at the oddest hours, not to mention helping to keep all my other chauffeurs mum at church."

"I thought Sally had us sunk that one time….when she asked if you wanted to go for a walk…"

Flynn couldn't believe his ears….even that little pip-squeak acolyte knew? He thought back to recall the statement Jane was talking about…Yeah, she asked for a walk, with a woman in a chair….through a courtyard garden by the church Jess could see easily…but needed to climb 4 steps to get to….and would have to go by those same stairs to leave. It was crazy to suggest, even for an innocent like her, save for her knowing that Jess did have some ability to move on her own….

"You little brat! You told Her too?" he growled back as full realization started to sink more deeply in.

Jess's eyes darted back and forth speedily in their sockets, till they stopped as she stared deadpan into his eyes, then shook her head with such ridiculous vigor, she could have made a martini in it.

Andy didn't have a chance for anger. All the night's drama had been a stunt. Part of a larger surprise she'd planned, must have been for weeks, all for him. She was walking. Slowly, and not completely steadily….but she was walking….

He leaned toward Jane in an 'excuse me for a second' motion, then proceeded to sweep Jess off her feet once more, then flew his arms over her as she landed, pulling her tight, and kissing her firmly.

"I…..think I'd better leave you two alone now….Seems like you have a lot of….legwork…to catch up on…."

Jess nearly snorted. "I think we can bypass the puns now….he's pretty much gotten the picture…."

"Ohhh no….You opened the flood gates on this one…..prepare for the deluge!" she laughed, nodding her goodbyes and making her way out the door.

"So…" he entered, slowly walking, with, her to the sofa. "Is there anything else I should know about….are you taking flying lessons too perhaps?"

"Nah, tried that a couple years ago…those damn planes are far too noisy."

He simply looked back at her, incredulous. Was there anything this woman hadn't done….or couldn't do….

They sat quietly for a while, wrapped in each other's arms, till Andy broke the silence.

"When is your next therapy appointment…PT…not P.A.T."

Jess snickered at his new process of distinction. "Thursday at 12:30, why?"

"I think you can take a wild guess….." he responded sarcastically. She merely gazed at him with mild curiosity. "Don't you…"

Before his ire could be raised further, she slipped her wrist under his jacket and got him right in the ribs. With her pinning his arm between her and the sofa, there was no chance of him getting away. And with her firm grasp of his other wrist with the arm she had around his neck, he was no more successful at defense.

"Would you learn to take a JOKE already!" she demanded, watching his face turn redder and redder as he refused to laugh from the 'torture' she was imposing, at least for the first thirty seconds.

"Alright….Alright….I surrender!" he gasped, exhausted. She looked over as he splayed out, chortled a bit, then draped herself over him.

"Already arranged it with Sharon. Barring 'explosions', we'll Both go in at 7, with a 2 hour lunch which will give us enough time to get to the center, introduce you to anyone on my team you haven't met, and, well, put me through my proverbial paces…." As she got to the end of her statement, her eyes began to slowly drop away from his….

"What's wrong….?"

"You just….have no idea….how much….how long I've waited for this….."

"I would have been ready to go with you to PT this whole time Jess….."

She smiled softly…."Yes, that too…but there's something else….something…personal…"

"What…..?"

She smiled again, her gaze slowly regaining his. Her courage and confidence seemed to build again, just looking into his eyes. She knew he was the one for some time, but feeling so, unsure of herself, of her own self-worth, she couldn't move forward….believing he'd truly want her….believing if she…if she had to step back and bow out…She knew even now, she still didn't have the strength to fight him, but she knew she didn't have to. His supposed anger tonight was just the large print on the title page….She had kept secrets from him….he was just glad she was safe…..She had gone through PT without him…he was simply ecstatic over her progress. For all his growling, he was all bluster and no bite. He'd never hurt her. He truly only wanted what was best for her. And she now knew….what was best for her…was him.

She pushed herself up closer, kissing him. His now freed arms forgot their former goals and instinctively wrapped around her, pulling her even closer. She drew his fingers through his hair and over his shoulders. Any other night, she would have slowly drawn down from here, tucked her elbows inside of his, and planted herself warmly within the nest of his embrace….but not tonight.

"There is somewhere I'd like to go tonight….it's not far, but I will definitely need your help getting there…." She spoke softly, as though changing the subject.

"Where is that?" he replied simply.

"The bedroom."

He smiled, gently pulling a stray hair away from her forehead. He leaned her back, slipped his arms under her back and knees, and gently lifted her from the sofa and carried her to her bed.

Arriving at the desired location, he placed her down easily, pulling the covers up from the side, lifting her rear again, and sliding them back behind her. He then kissed her on the forehead, then the cheek, and thinking she must have been exhausted from her time at the clinic, began to take his first step to the door.

"Do we have to start a chain of bad puns for this too….or do you think you can….reassess…the situation…." She called back to him, with just the slightest bit of pleading in her voice.

He paused. She wasn't tired. She…she…was she….

He turned back around. She was sitting up, looking straight at him. They both stood motionless for a while. Then finally, she reached the lower right part of her blouse with her left hand, and same on the reverse, then began to pull it over her head. Unfortunately, as it began to turn inside out over her neck, her nose got stuck on a button in the neckline. She flailed to wrest her arms free of the sleeves, then finally reached up to rescue the other captive from her top. Andy was glad her eyes were still blocked as he couldn't hold back a silent laugh as he observed her predicament. Gently, he sat by her side once more and slowly pulled her free of her woven bonds.

Trying to rescue at least some of the romance of the moment from the humiliation of her wardrobe, "You…may be able to tell….I….don't really do this…that often…."

Now it was Andy's turn to play coy, giving Jess the same passive, undaunted expression, she had given him earlier in the evening…

"Really, you seemed to be handling things quite deftly…."

Jessica's chin dropped. She drew up a meek embarrassed smile, shaking her head. Flynn took a soft knuckle to her chin, drawing her flushing cheeks back to him.

"Did you think I was speaking in an obscure metaphor…." He purred. "You've always handled yourself beautifully…but now, if you would allow it….I would like a turn…" He leaned in slowly and kissed her lips. The blush of her cheeks ran south with fire as she reached forward for him and leaned back to receive him…..He did….He would….They were…..

Engines roared and sirens blared as the Santa Monica Freeway rolled along. Music called to people in the streets…..laughter and screams….fights and parties….Another living night in Southern California….


End file.
